Dating Lessons We Learned In 2015

The end of one year and beginning of another is an amazing time to reflect on what you’ve learned and accomplished in the past 12 months. Now that 2015 is drawing to a close, it’s a time to think about what we learned about love, dating, and relationships. Here are some of the dating lessons we learned this year:

1. Netflix is not a date… but sometimes it is. We love to talk about the popularity of “Netflix and chill” and how if a guy invites you over to catch up on Master Of None, it’s a hook-up. But that’s a huge generalization and ignores the fact that it can be pretty fun to stay in with the person you’ve just started dating. So if we’ve learned anything from this trend, it’s that there are no easy answers.
2. Ghosting is effective but crappy. In the old days, if you didn’t want to date someone, you probably had a lot of awkward run-ins at school, work, parties, etc. These days, if you don’t want to date someone, all you have to do is totally ignore them by deleting every single text they send your way. Yup, 2015 was definitely The Year Of Ghosting. We know that the right thing to do would be just flat-out saying “You’re cool but there’s just not enough chemistry.” Are we going to do that? The jury’s still out.
3. Vague is the new direct. It must have been nice in past decades when you knew if you were on a date. The guy picked you up, drove you to a restaurant, bought you dinner, walked you home and kissed you on your doorstep if it was a good evening. This past year, it became impossible for us to understand whether we were on a real date or not. We hang out, grab drinks, text endlessly without meeting up at all. It’s enough to drive a sane woman crazy.
4. Something better won’t come along. There’s been a lot of talk about having “options” when it comes to dating and how we’re scared to take a chance on someone when we think there are five better people on Tinder waiting for us. Guess what? That’s probably not going to be true. Keeping your options open keeps you super single.
5. It’s possible to text way too much. This is a hard lesson to learn because texting is our main form of communication now. Plus it’s pretty fun when your iPhone lights up every few minutes because a guy is pursuing you. But then… it’s no longer fun. Texting can be a huge problem when you haven’t even met the person and they’re constantly contacting you. You don’t have to give up texting (can you imagine?) but it’s not a bad idea to consider when enough is enough.
6. Online dating is the best and the worst. If you’re single and searching for love, chances are you’re at least one dating site and/or app. You hate it, you love it, you’re addicted, you delete your account and sign up again – and that’s all in the same day. It’s great that we have the option of setting up dates when we rarely meet in person, but deciding how you feel about someone based on a series of messages is super hard.
7. Being single is the new normal. If we learned anything from 2015, it’s that there’s no shame or stigma attached to flying solo. It’s almost uncool to be in a relationship now (just kidding – any single girl would be lying if she wasn’t super jealous). It’s helpful that there is so much talk surrounding what it’s really like to be single because we don’t have to feel so alone. Hopefully this compassion and understanding continues into the new year.
8. Patience really is a virtue. Sure, relationship-hoppers still exist (the women who are never without a boyfriend on their arm) but that seems much more difficult in a day and age when it’s hard to get a date, let alone find someone you like enough to commit to. Patience is a huge virtue when it comes to dating. It truly is a process. You can have an online dating profile for a year and then finally go on an awesome date.
9. It’s OK to be judgmental. There’s this whole narrative around “giving people the benefit of the doubt” and never judging. I don’t agree with that. I think some people deserve to be judged. Not everyone is super nice or a good person. Not everyone is worth your time. We may not talk about it but I think one reason we ghost someone is because we didn’t like their behavior on the date. I know I’ve done that in the past. I’m not even ashamed of it because if someone is rude to me or is clearly on a different page, it’s my right to ignore them. It’s yours, too.