A Decent Guy Will Do These Things When He’s Dumping You

You don’t know what a guy’s really like until he breaks up with you. He no longer has feelings for you and doesn’t feel the need to impress you like he did at the start of your relationship and it sucks. If the guy who’s just dumped you doesn’t do these 11 things, don’t waste your tears on him—he was never worth dating in the first place.

  1. Break up with you in person Whether you’ve been dating for a few months or a few years, you deserve a real-life breakup. It’s common decency not to tell someone it’s over via text!
  2. Tell you why he’s dumping you Come on, you deserve to know why he wants to move on without you. If he’s such a coward that he gives you breakup cliches like, “It’s not you, it’s me,” he needs to grow a pair. Of coursehe doesn’t want to hurt you by making it clear that it actually was you (ouch), but he should still give you more of a reason why he wants to walk away.
  3. Avoid giving you false hope Even worse than not getting some closure from the guy is if he makes it seem like there’s hope for a relationship sequel in the future. He might think this is a good strategy to let you down gently, but honestly, it just makes the whole thing much worse and can lengthen how long it takes you to deal with all those breakup emotions.
  4. Man up about what he wants It’s unfair for someone to push you to break up with them because they don’t have the guts to end things. Pushing your buttons so you lose your cool or by doing less in the relationship so you get fed up and leave are immature tactics only a loser would use.
  5. Have the decency not to drag it out Breakups should be like pulling off a band-aid—you want to get them done and over with really quickly to minimize the pain. If he’s dragging out the breakup by hinting that he wants to end things for weeks before he actually tells you, it’s totally unfair. He should at least have some respect for you. You were the woman he once loved, for God’s sake.
  6. Know better than to try to rush into friendship Hearing him say that you can still be friends might make you feel better about the whole thing, but rushing into a friendship with a guy who just broke your heart can be a recipe for disaster because your feelings are still so raw. He should at least give you some time to process your feelings before jumping into a friendship with you.
  7. Answer your questions A breakup should never be a hit and run. He should understand your need for closure, which means he should be open about answering a few questions you have, like if there’s someone else or if he ever loved you. Also, the more he opens up with you during the breakup, the more chance he has of actually getting you as a friend in future.
  8. Do it at the right time There’s a time and place to break up with someone. It’s not supposed to happen just after your grandfather passed away or when you’re in the middle of a noisy club. It shouldn’t happen during a hectic fight either, as the “heat of the moment” breakup can really mess with your head. Plus, it’s damn lazy. If he’s decent, he’ll break up with you when you’re both calm and have a proper chance to talk things through.
  9. Make a clean break While you might be able to be friends with your ex sometime in the future, it’s not fair if he’s always hitting you up on social media and “liking” all your posts. Ditto for him checking up on you. Hell no. It’s just better if he gets out of your life after the breakup. That’s what he wanted, otherwise, he wouldn’t have broken up with you.
  10. Take responsibility Obviously there’s something wrong with the relationship, otherwise, your partner wouldn’t want to end things. And it makes sense that he would want to end things because he doesn’t see a future with you. That said, he shouldn’t pin the breakup on you. It’s really unfair if he has to try to make you out to be the bad guy (unless, of course, you cheated on him or something). The thing is, some guys are jerks who will try to ease their breakup guilt by turning the tables on their partners.
  11. Remember the good times While giving you hope is a breakup no-no, he should at least show you warmth for all the good times you shared in the relationship. Heck, at one point he was (hopefully) excited about your future together, right? It’s unfair (and he’s a jerk) if he’s cold and cruel. There’s never a need for that.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.