“Deep Liking” Is A Totally Silly Way To Try & Get Dates But Apparently, It Works

While “deep liking” is a new-ish dating trend that can apparently turn social media accounts like Instagram into dating apps, it can backfire horribly. Here are 12 things you need to know about it so you can hopefully avoid it.

  1. What’s the deal? Deep liking is a way to let someone know you like them by going through their old social media posts and “liking” them. It means going deep into their social media networks and putting in lots of effort to scroll through all their old posts and sunset shots. Sounds… kinda silly, right?
  2. It’s not romantic. It might seem romantic to think that some guy took the time to go through all your Instagram posts so that he could “like” the very first one. But if he wanted to be romantic, he could’ve done something else in RL instead of hiding behind his screen, FFS!
  3. Weirdly enough, this actually works for some people. Some people say that deep liking works because it takes the pressure off dating app conversation starters like, “Hey” or “What’s up?” But just because it feels more casual to “like” someone’s old posts on Instagram, it doesn’t mean it’s a great idea.
  4. It can be kinda creepy. You see you have new Instagram notifications and some guy you don’t know from a bar of soap has gone through your entire profile and “liked” so many photos, it’s ridiculous. What, is he a stalker or something? That’s probably the first thing that goes through your mind, not “Ooh, who’s this guy and does he like me?”
  5. There’s stuff on there that you don’t want him to see. It’s fine and well for your followers to see your old embarrassing posts and selfies, but a new guy who made it his business to “like” all your stuff? Eek! Maybe you don’t want people to see your stripey highlights from five years ago or that weird Christmas sweater your mom made you wear one year but you never thought to delete those pics because who the hell goes all the way back to those old snaps? Deep likers, that’s who.
  6. A “like” is just a “like.” Even if you do feel flattered that a hottie likes your old selfies, it doesn’t mean that you’re right about him liking you. A “like” on Instagram or Facebook is just that: a “like.” It’s not some declaration of wanting to date you. So, deep liking can have some expectations attached to it that make it confusing AF.
  7. It’s a silly way to start a conversation. Sure, it might take the pressure off, but what kind of icebreaker is a “like”? It actually makes you have to think hard about how you should reply. Do you go and “like” some of his posts or not? Do you try to make conversation with him via DM? Ugh! Why the hell didn’t he message you instead of this sneaky strategy to get your attention?
  8. It’s lazy AF. A guy who resorts to deep liking instead of having a real conversation with you will make a lazy boyfriend. Just because he’s taking the time to go through all your posts, it doesn’t mean that he’s chasing you or putting in any effort. Please! Anyone who hates their job can dedicate hours to social media. He’s probably hoping that you’ll take matters into your own hands so he doesn’t have to do the work. Ugh.
  9. It’s not easier than tinder. Some people say that deep liking is an easier way to get dates than having to meet people on dating apps. WTF? That makes no sense. At least on dating apps, you know you’re both there to look for someone and you’re swiping or “liking” because there’s some interest. A “like” on Instagram could be platonic AF.
  10. It should be about selfies specifically, but it isn’t. Apparently the deep liking trend is about liking someone’s selfies. But who actually sticks to that rule? Guys might be “liking” pictures of your dog or delicious tacos you ate, which can make it even harder to suss out if they’re interested in you or they just really love tacos.
  11. It could’ve happened by accident. Of course if a guy’s “liking” loads of your old posts he’s not doing that randomly. But if he only likes one old post? What then? Maybe he was trawling through your Instagram posts and “liked” one by mistake! How awkward! Then you end up contacting him to say “hi” because you think he meant for you to see his “like,” only he’s tried to unlike the post in the meantime. Ugh!
  12. It’s childish. Whatever happened to a grown man being man enough to say hi to a woman online or sending her something meaningful that stood out from the crowd? Being subtle with “liking” posts is really just immature and can lead to more confusion and questions than anything. Hopefully, a guy who deep likes your post will then step up his efforts and make conversation, but does it mean he’s going to “deep date” you? Unlikely.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.