Does He Want To Date Me Or Is He Just Trying To Get Laid? Signs He Wants More Than Sex

Unless you’re looking for casual sex, the last thing you want is to sleep with a guy only to find out that he’s not interested in anything but what happens between you in the bedroom. So how do you know whether he’s actually serious about pursuing something real with you or is it all about getting laid? Here’s how you know he actually wants to date you.

  1. He actually calls or texts you the morning after. It takes a particular kind of f***boy to sleep with you and then never get in touch again (or only get in touch again when he wants round two). If you want to know if this guy actually wants to date you, pay attention to his behavior after you have sex. If he gets in touch again the morning after just to chat or even to ask if you wanna catch a bite to eat later in the day, that’s a pretty good sign.
  2. He still wants to see you even when sex isn’t on the cards. Guys who are only interested in getting laid aren’t particularly shy about it. If he’s all gung ho about getting together but then you mention that you have your period or something else that indicates that sex won’t be on the cards, he’s suddenly not so keen and cancels or changes his whole attitude. If this happens, sorry, but there’s not much chance of an actual relationship.
  3. He loves cuddling when the deed is done. A guy who wants to date you actually likes you and has an interest in who you are as a person. This means that after you sleep together, he doesn’t just roll over and go to sleep or pull on his jeans and say he has to work early tomorrow morning. Instead, he pulls you closer and cuddles you until you fall asleep too (or until you’re ready to go again).
  4. He gets jealous of other guys. If he’s a bit shirty when you mention another guy or when one pays attention to you, he obviously wants to date you. If it was all about sex, he wouldn’t really care who else you were talking to. Unless you were going to cut of his supply, so to speak, you wouldn’t pique his interest in this department very much.
  5. He takes you out rather than wanting to stay in all the time. If he wants to date you, he’ll actually, you know, date you. This means he’ll plan things for you guys to do outside of the house, whether it’s going out for food, going bowling, whatever. If he wants to stay in every single time you’re together, it’s likely that’s just because that’s where he’s most likely to get you into bed.
  6. He opens up about his deepest thoughts and feelings. Needless to say, this doesn’t happen with a dude who’s all about getting off. He wants to get to know you if he’s opening up about himself and telling you about his thoughts and feelings. He’s obviously feeling comfortable with you and also thinks you’re worth investing that kind of emotional energy in. That’s a good sign, right?
  7. He focuses on your pleasure. When you’re in bed, is he all about getting himself off or does he spend time on foreplay and making sure you’re feeling pleasure throughout? If he goes out of his way to make sure you’re the center of attention every time you’re having sex, this means a) he’s a decent guy and b) he probably wants to date you too.
  8. He invites you to hang out with his friends and/or family. This is pretty obvious. A f**k buddy or friend with benefits doesn’t bother to introduce you to anyone else in his life because you’re not important enough and he doesn’t see the point. It’s not like you’re going to be his girlfriend, right? That’s why a guy who does want you to know his nearest and dearest is one who just might be your boyfriend.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia