Don’t Apologize For Wanting More From Your Relationship—Demand It

If I had a dime for every guy who complained that his girlfriend was asking too much, I’d be rich. It’s total BS. The truth is, every woman should expect the best from her relationship, no matter what. Wanting the world isn’t something to apologize for, so don’t be afraid to lay it on him.

  1. You deserve it. There are plenty of quality guys out there, so there’s no reason to settle for one who isn’t treating you the way you want and need. You need someone who never gets tired of date nights, who calls or texts when he says he will, and who doesn’t take you for granted. Whatever you’ve crafted as your almost perfect (because actual perfect doesn’t exist), don’t stop until you find it. Lord knows he’ll go find something else if he’s not satisfied, so you should have the same freedom!
  2. Don’t let him take you for granted. Too many men think once they’ve landed the girl, they can stop trying, but you should know better than to stand for that. If he’s trying to squeeze by without giving you what you need, show him that you won’t wait around forever. You need genuine effort, not games. If he’s acting like you’re replaceable, he isn’t the right one for you.
  3. If he isn’t willing to put in the work, he isn’t worth it. There are plenty of people who would appreciate how special you are—why would you settle for someone who doesn’t? Sure, every relationship has its issues, but if the guy you’re with doesn’t want to put in the effort to solve issues and communicate like an adult, you should go find someone else who will. There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone to fight for you.
  4. Relationships teach us what we do and don’t want from the next one. If it wasn’t for him dropping the ball, you might not realize that you have higher standards. He should be itching to provide all the things you need and if he’s not, you’ve learned what you don’t want the next time around. Go find someone who won’t be appalled by you asking for more.
  5. You should know every single day that you’re enough. Real men make sure that the woman in their life knows what she’s worth. He should build you up when you’re down, celebrate with you when you’re up, and be your biggest fan no matter what. If you think for one second that you need to change to be worthy of his love, he’s barking up the wrong tree.
  6. Compromise really is key. There have been plenty of times he didn’t realize you swallowed your pride and met him in the middle, and that’s okay. It’s not about keeping score and reminding him how much you do, but if he isn’t able to give as much as he gets, you’re going to have even bigger problems down the road. Make sure he’s clear on what you expect or else you’re both in for a rude awakening.
  7. There’s a time and place for apologies. There are plenty of things either of you might do or say that you need to apologize for, but asking for more from your guy isn’t one of them. Knowing what you need isn’t being unreasonable, and asking for it shows that you want to be on the same page. You’re allowed to express how to feel and he has to be okay with that. If he is, he’s not the one for you.
  8. If he really doesn’t want to change, you can’t force it. The sad truth is that some guys just aren’t going to change no matter how much you want them to. If he’s shown no interest in giving you what you need or has said he will and then doesn’t actually back it up with action, it’s a clear sign he’s a loser. If you have to fight that hard, you’re wasting your time.
  9. It’s important to establish your expectations from the start. The easiest way to avoid him thinking you’re being uncharacteristically demanding is to be upfront from day one about the fact that you’re looking for a partner, not a man-child. That way, if you need to remind him that he’s not stepping up to the plate, you can fall back on the foundation you set together.
  10. Put yourself in his shoes. If you were madly in love with your guy and he asked you to give more in the relationship, you would do it in a heartbeat, right? The fact that he doesn’t see that and instead insists that you’re asking too much just proves that he isn’t worthy of you or your love.
  11. No one can hold you back from doing you. You’re a serious catch, and at the end of the day, if he’s not going to be the man you need, you’re not going to stick around. The next time he accuses you of being too needy, don’t you dare apologize. Look him in the eye, hold your head up high, and give him the choice—either he’s in or he’s out.
We only have one chance to live this life and I'm making the most of it. I'll make plenty of mistakes along the way but each one will send me further down the right path.