Don’t Lose Your Senses While Waiting For A Guy To Come To His

The only thing worse than a guy who flip-flops on what he wants with you is maybe a jar of expired mayonnaise, and even then, it’s a close race. When you deal with someone who wants you forever one day and “just wants to be friends” the next day, it really messes with your head. If the guy you’re seeing (and then not seeing? Maybe?) says that he just needs time to figure out what he wants, this is why you shouldn’t lose your mind waiting for him to figure stuff out:

  1. You have stuff to do. You have places to be, people to see. I know perfectly well that all you want to do right now is stare at that green dot beside his name on Facebook and wait for him to send you the message that will bond you two forever in true love, but seriously, don’t. You’ll feel so much better if you go about your day as normal and at least pretend like he’s at the very back of your mind.
  2. Even if he’s the right guy, this might just not be the right time. He might need a few weeks or a few years to realize that you’re the one for him. And hey, if you’re single when that time rolls around and you still want to make it work, that’s cool. But until then, don’t put your life on hold for him. Go out and continue to create yourself, and if you feel yourself falling for someone else, go for it. If it’s really meant to be with Sir Waitsalot, it’ll happen.
  3. Pining over him isn’t going to wake him up any faster. He doesn’t know that you’re agonizing over this, and if he did, he probably wouldn’t care. Sending him a bunch of texts trying to convince him to hang out or letting him know he let a good thing go isn’t going to open his eyes. Go do you. When he finally realizes what a successful, sexy badass you are, you’ll have probably moved on long ago.
  4. You have so much more going for you. He might be Prince Charming, but you’re Mulan. It might be cool to have him in your life, but he’s definitely more like a cherry on top rather than the ice cream in your life sundae. You’re doing yourself a disservice if you’re letting your work life and social life slack because you can’t get your mind off this guy. He’s not letting his quality of life decrease for you, so don’t let yours do the same for him.
  5. If he can’t figure out what a catch you are, that’s his loss. This dude can’t figure out what he wants, and YOU’RE the one distraught over HIM? It should be the other way ’round. You know what you bring to the table, so don’t let this dude make you think that you deserve less because he doesn’t realize what he has sitting right in front of him.
  6. You can find someone who won’t drag his feet. I know it seems like they’re hard to find, but trust me— there are men out there who aren’t total commitment-phobes. If you can tear your eyes and heart away from this slacker, you’ll be able to open your life up to someone who doesn’t treat you like an option and instead makes you a priority.
  7. You don’t need that drama in your life. You have enough going on without having to worry about whether or not this guy is going to realize that you’re actually the bomb. I don’t care if you’re 18 or 88 —  you’re too old for that stuff. If he wants to be hot and cold with you, let him find a girl who can deal with those polar opposites. You deserve someone who knows that you are what he wants.
  8. You owe it to yourself to get on with your life. You’ve wasted enough of your time, energy, and sanity on this guy. Now, it’s time to take it back. You’re so attached to him because you have a lot of love and kindness in your heart, and now, you need to give yourself that same care. You aren’t a bad person for moving on from someone who can’t figure out what he wants with you.
  9. He’s not worth it. I know you think he is, but if you could step away from the situation and look in on it from the outside, you’d realize that this dude isn’t all that and a bag of chips. The fact that he can’t get his act together about you is proof of that. A man who is truly worth the patience you’re giving this guy won’t test your patience like he is.
  10. You’ll look back and wonder how this guy had you so messed up. You ever look back on your exes and wonder why the hell you went through three boxes of tissues over THAT? Yeah, that’s what’s going to happen a few months down the road when you look back on this experience. He might seem like the bee’s knees now, but when you’re a little older and a lot wiser, you’ll regret it if you let your head and heart get so messed up over this dude.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.