You really like the person you’ve just started dating but something feels a little off. You’re pretty sure they’re into you, but are they actually ready for a relationship? Here are some signs they’re definitely not.
- They’re extremely inconsistent. One day they’re super into you and very available and the next they’re nowhere to be found and you think they hate you. Sometimes they’re very emotional and vulnerable and other times they’re closed up. There’s no consistency and you don’t know what to expect. This is totally unfair for you and is a big red flag saying they aren’t in a place to date.
- They shut down or isolate during stressful times. When a problem comes up, you’re ready to tackle it. You want to be a team and to take care of it so you can move forward. The person you’re dating, on the other hand, totally shuts down or goes MIA when stress arises. They’re like a sunshine soldier, only showing up when things are bright. When times get tough, they’re nowhere to be found. This is a sign they aren’t ready to date.
- They’re still hurting hard from a past relationship. Sure, we all have scars, bumps, and bruises from past partners. This is an inevitable part of playing the game of love. An issue arises, however, when the pain is fresh and poignant. Perhaps they’re hurting from a recent breakup or maybe it’s an old flame that they just haven’t been able to shake. Either of these spells out bad news on the dating front.
- They make you feel unsettled. You have a mechanism deep inside you that’s foolproof. It’s called your intuition or your gut. It speaks wonders to you, guiding you through lots of situations. If this person upsets your gut, you know they’re no good. You shouldn’t regularly feel uneasy around them. This is a big sign that something is off with them and they at least aren’t ready to date you.
- They avoid meeting your friends or family and avoid having you meet theirs. This is super sketchy; you’re spending all this time with a person and have been for a little while now yet they don’t want anything to do with loved ones. They’re freaked out by the idea of meeting your friends and they certainly aren’t running to have you meet theirs. This is just a totally weird situation signaling that there’s probably a problem on your partner’s end.
- They treat you like a sex object. To them, you might as well be a doll. At times this may be confused for just good sex or someone being super sexual, but really it’s blatant disrespect. Someone who’s only in it for the sex isn’t ready to be dating another person. At this point, they’re inconsiderate and unfair. Don’t make excuses for this one because it’s really not OK.
- They don’t know what they want. They’re super vague about what they want. They never come straight out and say that they want a relationship or they just want a hookup. Instead, they’re weird when you ask them. They change the subject or give a totally unclear answer. They just don’t know what they want, or at least they don’t want to share it with you.
- They’re mysterious. Everything is hidden with them. You don’t know anything about their past relationships and maybe nothing about their friends either. You may have thought that mysterious was supposed to be sexy, but it’s mostly just wildly confusing. Are they hiding something? Are they just a total weirdo? Will you ever know?
- They have no friends. This may seem tangential but it’s super relevant. When someone has no friends, they likely have no support system. They aren’t processing their feelings in a healthy way because they don’t have enough people to process them with. This leaves them in a place where they shouldn’t be dating because they can’t do it in a healthy way.
- They’re telling you they’re not available. This may seem like a very obvious one, but too many of us get caught up in wanting things to be different than they are. Someone may flat-out tell you that they aren’t ready to date yet you don’t believe them. You two drag it on anyway. Do yourself a favor and take them at their word.
- They refuse to do PDA at all. This is a sketchy one because they’re often very affectionate in private. They act like everything is all good when you two are alone, but when you’re around other people, they act like they hardly know you. This is obviously a sign that relationships aren’t the next step for them.
