The Emotional Rollercoaster Of Only Going On First Dates

The Emotional Rollercoaster Of Only Going On First Dates ©iStock/Neustockimages

It happens to everyone: you’re single, going on dates, but can’t really get farther than a first date with anyone. Sure, you have an amazing life and you wouldn’t trade it for anything, but it’s impossible not to feel a ton of different (and sometimes conflicting) emotions when you just can’t seem to catch a break in love.

  1. You survive on hope. If you let go of your hope, you would never go on another date ever again, let alone ever leave your apartment. You would stop showering, buying groceries and showing up at work. You can’t say goodbye to your hope that you’re going to find love eventually,
  2. You have super low moments. You try to stay positive, but sometimes, you can’t help but sit at home on a Friday night, staring at Netflix, wondering why you’re so incapable of meeting a great guy. Your friends meet someone awesome the moment they get a new dating app, and yet you’ve gone on more than your fair share of dates and you have no one.
  3. You feel like a loser for throwing a pity party. You’re super conflicted because on the one hand, you’re drowning in a sea of self-pity and binge-watching, and on the other, you’re wondering why you can’t just pick yourself up and act normal again. Your single friends are totally killing their lives and careers, and they never seem to feel sorry for themselves. So why are you?
  4. You can’t enjoy dates. You sit there trying to focus on what this new guy is telling you, but honestly, you feel like everyone bores you. Then you feel bad for thinking that. Then you wonder if there’s something wrong with you since you never get a second date. Dating has become a necessary evil, not a fun activity, and you pretty much dread going out and making small talk with yet another stranger.
  5. You worry 24/7. Are you going to be solo forever? Will you ever click with someone else or is that just a lame fantasy at this point? Do you come off super eager or desperate or even too distant? You can never shake this anxious feeling that you’re not doing what you should to find love, even though you pretty much are on every dating app and you never stop going out.
  6. You’re always nervous. Back in your early single girl days, you were an amazing date. You made guys laugh, you poked fun at your reality TV obsession, you had stories galore and you always had something to talk about. Now that girl seems like another person because you can barely remember your own name on some dates, you get so nervous. You don’t know how to date anymore, and it really sucks.
  7. You get way too happy about a mediocre date. When you meet a guy that might not be your forever love or even worthy of dating for more than a few months, you literally jump for joy. You smile at him way too much on the date, you say right away that you want to see him again, and you pretty much scare him away. Oops. Then you come back down to Planet Earth and totally regret it. Just another day in your super emotional single girl life.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.