My Ex Has Gotten So Much Hotter Since We Broke Up & It Sucks

I know this sounds weird, but I think I’m jealous of how much hotter my ex has gotten since our breakup. He was definitely cute when we were together, but since we went our separate ways, it’s like he’s turned into some weird babe magnet. WTF? I can’t lie, I’m seriously struggling to come to terms with his glow-up.

  1. I was always hotter than himWhen we were dating, my friends used to tell me that I could do better. We started dating in college, and unlike some of the other guys who looked like full-grown men at 19, he was still trying to grow a beard back then. I loved his baby face anyway. Looking back, I guess I relied on being the hotter one in some ways, as horrible it is to admit.
  2. He started getting hot at the end of our relationship. Toward the end of our relationship, I noticed that he was becoming much hotter. It seemed like the result of him getting older and growing into his looks, developing a sense of style, and buying more flattering clothes. He went from being a basic jeans and t-shirt type of guy to wearing button-downs and Chelsea boots. It threw me for a loop, especially because I started noticing other women noticing him when we were out together.
  3. I basically introduced him to the haircut he’s perfected as a signature look. I was perusing his social media the other day (he’s the only ex that I’m friends with on social media) and I saw a picture of him at the barber shop getting his haircut. The caption read “getting my signature look.” Um, hello! My jaw dropped when I read that caption because that look was totally introduced to him by me! A few months before we broke up, I suggested to him that he try a new haircut and it really did him a service. I knew that he kept the haircut but I didn’t know that he called it his signature. Like, give credit where credit is due, dude.
  4. I feel equal parts attracted to and jealous of his newfound hotness. In this really strange way, I’m an irrationally jealous ex about his leveling up but super attracted to it because I was with him when he still had a baby face. I’m jealous because although I think I’ve grown into my looks more too since we broke up, I don’t think that I have as much as he has. In some ways, I feel like I’ve physically peaked, whereas it seems like he’s just getting started. At the same time, I’m attracted to him because he looks really good. He’s strangely more my type now than he ever was before.
  5. Social media doesn’t help my jealousy. Guys don’t want to admit that they use skin and face-enhancing filters on social media, but we all know that they do. My ex looks super hot in his social media photos. He chooses the right angles, the right color schemes, and his new personal style blends well with it all. I have to remind myself that social media is a curated personal branding mechanism that allows anyone to be whoever they want to be to the rest of the world. While that’s momentarily comforting, it’s also kind of annoying. He still has pics of us on his social media pages, so when you scroll all the way down and back up again, you can really see his evolution. The worst part is, he gets hotter and hotter in photos without me.
  6. Maybe he had to reinvent himselfDid he break up with me and start going to the gym more regularly? Did he throw out all of the clothes I bought him? Did he revamp his style? Honestly, I can’t really blame him if this is what happened. I needed to reinvent myself too after we broke up. Our relationship was many years long and all of my clothes had memories imprinted into them. In fact, I transformed my entire self. I dyed my hair, sold my old clothes and bought new ones. Maybe he had to reinvent himself too. Maybe in reinventing himself, he became a major babe magnet.
  7. Looks aren’t everything, sure, but I’m competitive. I know that there’s no official competition for looking hotter than your ex, but if there’s an unofficial one, I definitely feel like I’m losing it.
  8. My jealousy is totally masking my insecurities. Deep down, I think that his newfound attractiveness makes me feel ugly. I know this is totally irrational considering that we broke up many years ago and he’s not in my life anymore, but I have this fantasy that one day I’m going to run into him again and I’m afraid that he’s going to see me and be shocked that I don’t look as attractive as he remembered. I’m afraid that he’s going to be hot, tan, and perfect and I’ll be boring and mousy.
  9. Maybe our relationship was holding him back. The fact that my ex has gotten so much hotter since our breakup has really made me think. I hate to even consider this, but it’s totally possible that our relationship was holding him back from being the super confident, super hot guy that he is now. As tough as it is for me to consider that, I have to admit that I’m not the only person who deserves to grow from the end of a toxic relationship. My growth manifested itself in so many different ways, including a boost in my confidence and self-esteem. Maybe his “signature look” and new style was one of the ways he grew too.
Marie is an ambitious millennial woman, leading a corporate life by day and doing her best to live, laugh and love.