When It Comes To First Dates, These Are The 2 Things I Always Look For

My dating life hasn’t always been fun, but it’s definitely always entertaining. I’ve wanted to laugh, I’ve wanted to cry, and I’ve thought about giving up entirely. But then I came up with a simple way to make snap decisions about whether or not I’m willing to go on a second date. It’s seriously made my love life a million times easier. Here are the two things I always look for on first dates: whether I want to make out with this guy, and whether I can actually talk to him.

  1. Physical attraction is everything. Sure, looks fade, but we’re not old and grey yet. I can still care about what someone looks like. It’s pretty obvious within five minutes whether it’s a chemistry match or not, and when it’s not, the evening gets super boring and fast.
  2. Except when it’s not. At the same time, a second date is just not happening if the guy is super hot but can’t hold a conversation. Looks count but not more than being able to chat about our work days or thoughts about the future. I still think about a Tinder date whose second date ask I turned down even though he looked like Joshua Jackson (sob).
  3. Looks never grow on me. People always say if you get to know a guy, his personality will be so awesome that you’ll feel attracted to him when you never were before. It doesn’t work like that for me. I know immediately if I’m into someone or not and there’s no hope of that ever changing.
  4. Making out is the most crucial part. Of course you really figure out if you’re compatible with someone during that first kiss/make-out session. But if you think about it on the first date, you can figure out pretty quickly whether he’s a Netflix and chill contender or you would die before locking lips.
  5. I need to talk about TV. Seriously, it’s a physical need. The last guy I went out with? He “doesn’t really watch TV.” Who doesn’t watch TV? Sorry, but I’m gone.
  6. I want a guy who gets me. I’m a workaholic and like it that way. I watch more Real Housewives than is probably good for me. I can talk a lot about my job and my friends and how I feel. If it’s clear on the first date that a guy doesn’t understand my work or doesn’t feel like listening, a second date is not in the cards.
  7. He needs to talk, too. Sitting in total silence should never happen on a first date, because things can’t really be that awkward, unless he’s just the most awkward guy around. If I’m balling on and on and he won’t open his mouth, that’s uncool.
  8. A chatty, TV-addicted, cute guy is my dream. If I can’t wait for that magical first kiss but we can never seem to shut up long enough for that to happen, I’ve met my dream guy. That’s not too much to ask for, right?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.