I’m A Positive Person, But Modern Dating Makes Me So Negative

I’m A Positive Person, But Modern Dating Makes Me So Negative ©iStock/themacx

I get criticized a lot for my cynicism when it comes to dating, but I wasn’t always this way, I swear. I’m an extremely upbeat and bubbly person and I consider myself in pretty much everything, but after so many bad dates the past few years, I’m at the point where I literally don’t give a damn.

  1. I’m so used to a revolving exit door for jerks. I tried to be that overly hopeful girl who went into every new experience with a starry-eyed sense of optimism but after not one, not two, but over a dozen ridiculous disappointments with douchebags, I’m sorry but I’ve lost the luster I used to have. It’s not that I’m super negative now, I’m just more realistic. The chances of the guy I’m into becoming my forever love is pretty slim. He’s most likely just another frog on the journey.
  2. Most guys judge me way too early on. What’s the point in getting excited about someone who’s most likely going to ax me for some really lame reason? I’ve been dumped by guys who hardly knew me based on one small detail — it’s exhausting. Who enjoys that? I know that most guys I date are going to find a flaw and run, thinking they can do better. I try to be positive, but the reality is that people in general have lost the core value of accepting and loving others as they are. We’re all so entitled now.
  3. I’ve received one too many penis pics. I’m pretty certain that I reserve the right to smash my former rose-colored glasses the moment I received my second penis pic. One is an unfortunate experience but two is just ridiculous. By the way, I’ve received over 20 and I never asked for any of them. Please, tell me more about how positive about dating I should be.
  4. I’m so sick of the lazy efforts made these days. I’ve been making genuine efforts with guys for years, only to be met with a half-assed attempt from 90% of them. There have definitely been some great guys in there and sadly those relationships didn’t work out — but those departures were left on good terms, unlike the many imbeciles who have taken advantage of my kindness without offering me the same respect in return. I’m so over it.
  5. Bad texters are everywhere. I’m positively sure that most guys I encounter on this journey to find love will be horrible at texting and think it’s perfectly legit to be out of touch for days on end. These guys are becoming so common that it’s no wonder I’m not more confident in meeting someone who actually values witty banter and cute check-ins throughout the day. Are we forming a relationship here or what? Why is texting such a hard concept for so many men to grasp? Ugh.
  6. Poor communication skills and terrible manners have taken all of the fun away. Ghosting and being strung along all the time leaves little room for the hopefulness I used to carry with me. Just when I think things are going well and I begin to let myself get excited, the guy ghosts on me or I discover he’s dating a slew of other women in addition to me. No thanks.
  7. Online dating has created too many inflated egos. Dating used to be a lot more fun before players began going online and only swiping right on faces to give their own egos a boost. I used to really enjoy starting conversations with guys in the hopes of genuinely starting a relationship, but aside from the penis pics these days, you’re lucky if you even get a message or a reply to your first attempt at contacting your matches. It’s complete BS.
  8. I’m perfectly fine on my own until my unicorn shows up. I might be negative about dating at times, which is completely justified in my opinion, but it doesn’t mean I’m a negative person. There are plenty of other positive aspects of my life that I choose to focus on in the meantime. Dating might be a disaster, but in the absence of love, I’ve focused more on myself than ever before and I’m in a place where I’m completely happy with who I am even if I’m without love in my life. Until the unicorn shows up to change my mind, I’m not as enthusiastic about dating, even if I am a positive person.