Forget Alpha Males — Women Love Strong Betas, Too

Flash back half a century or so ago, and alpha males ruled the world. You know the type; they had to be big, strong, aggressive and emotionless. Women fawned over them, and they pushed around the supposedly weaker beta males. Now, all that’s changed, and most women are sick of that alpha mentality. They’re actually in love with betas. Think about some of the most popular, richest and most desirable men in the world. They’re sensitive, smart and focus more on building people up than controlling them. I’m not saying every beta is a great guy, because there are plenty of douchebags in both categories. Yet, betas are coming out on top for once, and here’s why:

  1. The nerds are the money makers now. It’s great that an alpha can play football in his backyard and smash beer cans on his forehead. Who cares? Those nerds they made fun of have grown up and only gotten more successful and attractive. The alphas are still just over grown frat boys. Avoiding nerds is like saying you’d rather your guy not have a killer career.
  2. We like being treated like equals. Alphas are great if you like being a kept woman. Today’s woman is more independent and wants to be treated like an equal. She wants to work, have her own interests and be just as important in the relationship. Alphas don’t like being talked back to; betas want a relationship that’s equal parts give and take.
  3. We can fend for ourselves. When women couldn’t really get jobs, it made sense to go after an alpha. They had good jobs and could provide for you. We have jobs now and often out-earn those alphas. We’re perfectly capable of fending for ourselves now.
  4. Chest thumping is so overrated. It’s no big secret that alphas love bragging and puffing their chests to scare off smaller guys. Seriously? It just seems like you’re a little insecure.
  5. It’s not a sin to have feelings. Betas aren’t afraid to show a little emotion. It also means they understand women far better than their alpha counterparts. That’s all we really want – to be understood and loved.
  6. Metrosexuals are hot. A big sweaty guy is okay, but a man who knows how to dress himself, takes regular showers and always smells nice is so much hotter. These guys are built in all the right ways without going overboard on the muscles. Anyone else imagining Magic Mike right now?
  7. We’re sick of hiding our intelligence. I’ll admit that even some betas are terrified of intelligent women, but alphas absolutely hate it. It’s one of the reasons we still feel like we have to hide it. We’re smart and it’s time we show it.
  8. We’re not possessions – we’re partners. A car, jewelry and clothes – those are possessions. Saying we “belong” to you isn’t cool. We’re equal partners in a relationship. We’re so over being treated like your arm candy.
  9. It’s nice getting emotional support. Alphas like to tell you what to do and trash any dreams you might have. If it’s not helping them, you’re not getting any support. Betas are more tuned in to your needs and actually give a damn what you might want.
  10. We like guys who are open to other opinions. We’ve all met those guys who can’t even consider another person’s opinion. Those are alpha males or at least alpha wannabes. Betas tend to be a little more open minded so you can actually have conversations instead of yelling matches.
  11. Betas have a much better sense of humor. If it’s not bragging or putting someone else down, alphas don’t really have a sense of humor. We like to laugh. That’s why we choose betas.
  12. We don’t need bodybuilders to get turned on. I don’t know why alphas think all we need to get turned on is massive muscles. Huge arms don’t equal a huge anything else. Conversation, humor and a little sensitivity are much hotter.

The age of the alpha male has come to a close. Yes, I know some of you still love them and that’s fine. Personally, I’m loving the rise of the beta male. It gives me hope that maybe there are still some good guys out there.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.