Women don’t actually flip their hair and bat their eyes when they see their crush — their moves are a lot subtler. That’s why most men don’t have a clue that someone is crushing on them. Even though women think that their feelings are obvious, they’re actually so subtle that sometimes men don’t even notice them. If you’re unsure where she stands, here’s how to tell if a girl likes you.
- She spends an hour thinking up a reply to your text. She’s not waiting an hour to text you back, because she’s playing hard to get. That’s just how long it takes her to think of a clever reply that looks flirty yet casual. Her friends are probably gathered around her, helping her decide which words and emojis to use, so give her a break.
- She stalks everyone you know. Not literally, of course. When a girl likes you, she won’t just scroll through your Facebook and Instagram. She’ll also look through your guy friend’s pages to see what type of people you hang out with. And if you have any girls in your photos, she’s going to be stalking them too.
- She uses the word “we” a lot. If you’re chatting with her and she starts referring to the two of you as “we” rather than just talking about herself, chances are she sees you as a duo already (or would definitely like to).
- She dresses up when she knows she might see you. Even if she’s only going to see you for two seconds while walking across campus, she’ll waste time in the morning getting dressed up. That way, you’ll never think that she did it in order to impress you. You’ll assume that she just always dresses that way because she’s super cute and fashionable.
- She just won’t stop fidgeting. It might seem like an annoying quirk if she won’t stop touching her hair, bouncing her foot, or tapping her nails on the table, but these things are actually good ways to tell a girl likes you. “Women do some intentional and unintentional things when they are interested in someone. Some of these signs could be blushing, hair tossing, lip biting or licking, hand wringing, and a decrease of physical space boundaries,” says marriage and relationships therapist Dr. Nikki Martinez. “Many times they are not even aware they are doing them, and that might be the best sign of all, as they cannot help themselves around you.”
- She makes the date seem like your idea. She doesn’t want you to know that she likes you until she knows you feel the same, which is why she’ll try her best to get you to ask her out. She’ll bring up a movie she’s been dying to see or mention how she has the house to herself this weekend in order to prompt you. When you finally ask her out, you’ll think that you made the first move, but the date was really initiated by her.
- She makes fun of your silly jokes. You’ve probably heard the rumor that girls giggle whenever their crush speaks, even if you haven’t said anything funny, but that’s far from the truth. Most women with crushes will make fun of you for failing. It’s easier to tease you than to admit she likes you.
More ways to tell if a girl likes you
- She smiles a lot but then looks away. Avoiding eye contact isn’t generally seen as a good thing in relationships, but when it’s preceded by a dazzling smile, this is one of the best ways to tell a girl likes you. As clinical sexologist and author Dr. Dawn Michael tells AskMen: “She may smile and look away, or even smile and laugh a little more with her friends or the person she is talking to, again this makes her more approachable.”
- She tells everyone about you. You’ll be the last person to know that a girl is crushing on you. Why? Because she’ll talk to her friends, family members, and strangers on the internet about you. She just won’t let you in on her feelings until she gets advice from all of those people.
- She stays up all night just to talk to you. Don’t freak out if she falls asleep while texting you. It’s not an excuse for leaving you hanging. It’s actually a great sign. It means she didn’t want to end the conversation. The only thing that could tear her away from you was the sandman.
- She replays your conversations in her head. If a woman yells at you about something you did three days ago, it can actually be a positive thing. It means that she likes you so much that she’s been replaying your conversations in her head.
- She pulls you into her personal space. Many women aren’t all that into guys being touchy-feely with them or vice versa, but if you want to know how to tell if a girl likes you, just look for how close she gets to you physically when you’re together. “While we each have different personal space boundaries, when someone is inside what most of us would consider our bubble, we may want to take notice that this person wants our attention and wants to be near us,” says Martinez. This is even more true when she makes it a point to touch you as much as possible. She adds: “Making contact – whether it is a brush of the hand or arm, frequent hugs or touching – is a significant sign that someone is interested. They are trying to tell you without words that they are interested and attracted to you.”
- She daydreams about your first kiss. Every first kiss you have with a woman should be special. You never know how long she’s been thinking about that crucial moment in your relationship. She’s probably daydreamed about it over and over again, so make sure her wait was worth it.
- She actually makes a move instead of waiting for you. Not all women will sit around pining over their crush. They’ll actually make a move. They won’t care about the possibility of rejection, because they know that it’s better to ask you out than to waste time wondering if you feel the same.
How to get a girl to like you
Now that you know the signs she’s into you, how can you make that more likely to be the case? While there’s no one magic formula to win a woman over, here are some things you can do to increase your chances.
- Be someone she can trust. If she’s looking for a relationship, no doubt she’ll want a partner she knows she can rely on and trust not to betray her. Chances are she’s been hurt before and won’t want to willingly put herself in a position for it to happen again. “Trust and trustworthiness allow relationships to deepen,” says licensed counselor Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D.
- Be a man of your word. If you say you’re going to call her later, make sure you do. If you ask her to hang out on Saturday night, don’t cancel last minute because you can’t be bothered to get off your PlayStation for a few hours. If you tell her you’re interested in a relationship with her, don’t suddenly clam up and decide you’re actually a commitmentphobe after all. This is not a good look.
- Open up and be willing to be vulnerable. If you can tell a girl likes you or you want her to, you’ll have to put in the work of opening up emotionally. This isn’t always easy, but it is worth it, especially if you see a potential future with her. No matter how scary it is, let her in on the deeper side of yourself so that she can truly get to know you. Otherwise, how can she ever grow to love you?
- Be confident. We all have our insecurities, but the ol’ adage about faking it ’til you make it applies to men as well. When you approach her, be confident in your feelings and in your belief that you’re worthy of her. Women are super attracted to confident guys. Who wouldn’t be?
- Be consistent. Don’t play her hot and cold unless you want her to get fed up and lose interest before you really get started. If you can tell a girl likes you, don’t play with her emotions for fun or because you don’t have your act together. Show her every day how you feel about her and become someone she knows she can count on.
- Listen to her. There’s nothing worse than a guy who talks over a woman and tries to mansplain everything like he knows better than her. Winning a girl over is often as simple as just listening to what she has to say and absorbing it. She’s likely not asking for your advice or for you to fix things. She just wants a sounding board, to be one.
- Know how to make her laugh. Laughter is the best medicine and all that. If you can put a smile on her face even on the worst of days, you’re basically guaranteed to be in her good books.
- Treat her with respect. No woman wants to be condescended or talked down to, nor does she want to be disrespected. Not only should you observe her boundaries but you should be considerate of her feelings and listen to what she has to say. Otherwise, you’re not likely to get very far with her. “When a person is made to feel disrespected or patronized, the relationship is likely to end sooner rather than later,” Degges-White says.