I Got Over My Cheating Ex Quickly & Painlessly By Focusing On These Things

I loved him and I thought he felt the same, but even though he said the words, they meant nothing. He cheated on me and I thought I’d be distraught. In reality, I just wanted to get on with my life and forget all about him. Here’s why the breakup didn’t break me:

  1. Breakups don’t come standard. I really thought that the breakup was going to be so brutal on me. I mean, my three-year relationship was coming to an end! But honestly, not every breakup has to be soul-crushing, and especially not when the guy who broke my heart was a cheating a-hole.
  2. It was totally out of my control. If the breakup had happened because of something I’d done or even because life was pulling us into different directions, I’d have been much more heartbroken, but this guy made the choice to hurt me. He was the reason for the breakup, so why should I carry the pain of his bad decision? Hell no.
  3. I was depressed…but not because of him. I’m not saying I sailed on smoothly from that breakup. I was depressed, but it was because of the time I’d wasted with this guy and how I’d lost myself in the relationship. It wasn’t about missing him. I didn’t miss him at all, actually.
  4. My love turned to hate overnight. When I confronted him about my cheating suspicions and he confessed, I realized that I didn’t love him anymore. In fact, I wanted to erase all memory of ever being with such a loser. That’s the thing about me: I love wholeheartedly but when I get badly hurt, that love disappears in a flash. It serves no purpose anymore, so why should it stick around?
  5. I knew he wasn’t thinking about me. Why would I waste time thinking about this guy or feeling sad about the end of our relationship? Like hell was he thinking about me. He was too busy crawling into someone else’s bed. If a guy’s not going to be thinking of me, I won’t be making any effort to think about him. It has to be mutual and with this guy, the love clearly hadn’t been.
  6. I wanted to fall in love with life. My life had been in turmoil for many months in our relationship because I was feeling insecure and suspicious of him. It was totally messed up. Now that he was out of my life, I wanted to concentrate on making my life better and being happy. It was a relief not to be stuck with him, wondering if he was loyal or not. Ugh. Who needs that?
  7. I was more than the hurt I’d experienced. I’d been the victim in all this but I refused to remain a victim. A bad thing had happened and a toxic man had hurt me, but I was so much greater than that. I had so much life in me and so much to live for! Why would I be looking back at my past when my future was so much better without him?
  8. Once a cheat, always my enemy. A few months later, he had the nerve to try to get back in touch with me. He texted me to check in and say hi. WTF? I didn’t miss him at all and knew that even if I did, I’d never want to speak to him again. He cheated on me and that was enough to make him my enemy. It sounds harsh, but that’s how I roll. Number deleted and blocked!
  9. I erased the good times. One of the most important ways for me to move on was to forget about the good times we’d shared. His cheating clouded over all of those great memories. I really battled to believe that they’d even been real, to be honest, so my rule was to toss out the entire relationship and be done with it!
  10. He’d taken enough—why would I give him more? I’d given him my trust, my heart, and three years of my life. He had to GTFO because he’d taken and abused everything I’d given him, and really wasted too much of my time. Screw him.
  11. I broke up with him mentally before it happened in real life. For months, I’d been suspecting him of cheating and I’d gone through the worst case scenarios, the biggest one being that he had another woman in his life (and he did). I had a breakup practice run for months during our relationship. By the time we broke up for real, I was over it and ready to move on.
  12. I’d been dating a stranger. Who the hell was that guy? When we first started dating, I never thought he could cheat on me or become such a liar. Really, I didn’t know who he was and what he’d really been about. Missing him after the breakup would’ve been missing a stranger—a stranger who was such scum, he didn’t deserve a single thought in my precious head.
  13. I didn’t want to pine over BS. If I sat around and wished our relationship was still in my life or that my BF had been a better person, I’d be pining for something that just wasn’t meant to be. WTF? I won’t waste my life on that. Besides, if I want to dream about the what ifs and other things that don’t exist, I’ll dream about unicorns. At least they’re pretty.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.