While science is ever-changing depending on new findings, a recent article published in The Independent compiled the 10 most important qualities a guy needs to be date-worthy. Do you agree with their findings?
He’s super smart. Obviously, no one wants to date an idiot, so dating someone smart totally seems like a given, right? Well, this particular study out of the Hanken School of Economics in Finland found that with greater intelligence comes greater faithfulness. Basically, even if your smarty-pants BF might drive you nuts with all his knowledge, he’s far less likely to cheat. And that, right there, is a quality you want in a guy.
He has a sense of humor. While having a sense of humor is one thing, it’s important to find someone who shares your same brand of humor. In other words, as the study reports, he needs to make you laugh. If you’re not having a decent amount of belly laughs, then it’s time to look for someone else.
He totally supports your career. Or, more specifically, he actively supports your career. What this study is also saying is that you don’t want to be with some dude who’s intimated by your goals and your impending success. Men who don’t want their female partners to thrive in their careers but instead stay to home and watch the babies are the type of guys you should avoid like the plague they are.
He makes a legit effort with your friends and family. According to research, women have an easier time making an effort for her male partner’s friends and family than guys do. Not cool. This needs to be an equal effort. If your partner loves you and cares for you, then he should do whatever it takes, as difficult as it might be at times, to give a chance to the other people in your life who love and care for you. He doesn’t have to love them or become best friends with them, but he needs to respect them and respect the relationships you have with them. End of story.
He has high levels of emotional intelligence. What this means is that he accepts the fact that he has feelings and emotions and isn’t afraid to share them or experience them fully. While women still pretty much corner the market in this area, if you can find a guy who’s at least open to being more emotionally intelligent and willing to work on that aspect of himself, that’s a step in the right direction.
He respects your opinions. We’re all entitled to our opinions, but sometimes people can’t handle hearing views that are different from their own. That’s ridiculous. You want a guy who will not only respect your opinions but hear you out when you’re voicing them rather than putting you down or tuning you out.
He actually listens to you. Not to stereotype, but when it comes to listening, some guys (read: a lot of guys) struggle to do it and do it well. If science says you need a guy who’s going to effing listen, then I say you have to listen to science and get with a guy who does. He should be able to recall your conversations and the small details contained within them. Sure, he doesn’t need to hang on your every word, but he should at least give a damn about what you’re saying.
He’s willing to work to make the relationship work. Even the great ones require work. In fact, that’s why they’re so great: two people are giving it 100% to ensure the relationship continues thriving. No one can just ease their way into a relationship and assume everything will fall into place – love simply isn’t that easy. It’s important to find out early on if the guy you’re with is willing to work at the relationship. If he isn’t, then it might be time to reconsider things.
He’s your personal cheerleader. When you succeed, no matter what the achievement, it’s important to have a guy who’s going to be there to celebrate your achievements. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small achievement that’s a stepping stone to bigger things or a huge achievement like scoring that dream job—it’s extremely important to have a guy in your life who’s going to be there to celebrate all of it (with champagne in hand, of course).
He shares your values. Personally, I don’t think we need a study to confirm this, because it just seems to be an obvious part of building a life with someone. If you don’t see the world in the same way and share priorities on what’s important and what’s not, things can get complicated. Sharing values really do make things easier, so if at least some of your values overlap, that’s a great thing.
Amanda Chatel – Amanda is a writer who divides her time between NYC and Paris. She’s a regular contributor to Bustle, Glamour, Mic, and Livingly. Other bylines include: Harper’s Bazaar, YourTango, The Atlantic, Forbes, YouBeauty, Huffington Post, The Frisky, and BlackBook. Find her at amandachatel.com or on Twitter at @angrychatel.
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