The Guy I’ve Been Dating For Months Still Hasn’t Called Me His GF & I’m Sick Of It

I’ve been dating this guy for a little while now and things are going really well. We’re together basically 24/7 and our relationship is totally solid. There’s just one problem: I don’t actually know if I’m his girlfriend since we’ve never used that label. I have no idea where I stand and I’m totally over it.

  1. I want the benefits of full girlfriend status. Full girlfriend status means that everyone knows that we’re together and he actually acknowledges I’m his girlfriend in public. The second he stops calling me his “special friend,” I’ll finally be able to relax. It’s frustrating to think that after all these months we’ve spent together, he’s still not totally sure about me and I don’t think I can go on like this for much longer.
  2. I’m tired of dudes being weird about labels. Millennials are so touchy about traditional labels. Everyone wants to be free and do whatever they want, which is fine, but we don’t have to be this awkward about it. It’s like we’re all still in middle school, afraid we’re going to be made fun of if people find out we actually like-like someone. We all just need to grow up and accept that being in a relationship is sometimes going to involve some uncomfortable, perhaps even cheesy labels.
  3. I want the world to know we’re together. One of the best parts of being a full-fledged girlfriend is that you get to tell everyone. It’s nice when you know that someone cares about you enough to make you theirs. It just adds a layer of security to my life so I can spend my time thinking about other things instead of obsessing over where I stand with the guy I’m dating.
  4. I don’t want to be someone’s “person.” What’s with millennials calling their significant others their “person”? I don’t want to be JUST his person, I want to be a real girlfriend. I’m worth that and so much more, and calling me anything else just seems like a cop-out.
  5. I shouldn’t even have to worry about this. I doubt that people ever used to worry about this kind of stuff back when all it took to be in a full-fledged relationship with someone was a peck on the cheek. There was no confusion, no wondering whether spending months together and going on a ton of dates “means something.” Of course it means something! We just love to pretend it doesn’t.
  6. Everyone seems to want to keep their options open these days. I sometimes worry that the reason I’m in my current predicament is that my “sort of boyfriend” is still keeping his options open, which wouldn’t really be surprising given some of the recent dating trends happening. Everyone’s into open relationships and random hookups. Maybe people think that if they can put off labeling their relationship, they can have their cake and eat it too, but I’m really not into it.
  7. I feel like I’m on the back burner. I can’t help but get that feeling that he’s keeping me around just in case nothing better comes along. I know I shouldn’t put up with this and should just end it once and for all, but I guess I’m holding onto the hope that he’ll turn around one day and realize he needs to lock things down with me before it’s too late. And yes, I know that usually only happens in the movies.
  8. I don’t want to force him to make me his girlfriend. How sad would that be? It should be HIS decision to make it official but I’m getting antsy waiting for him do so and I’m starting to feel like it may never happen. I have a feeling that in the olden days, there wasn’t really a question of whether or not you were seriously dating each other, it was just known or assumed that you were. Since that’s not a thing that happens anymore, I get to spend all of my free time stressing about whether or not I’m in a committed relationship. Yay.
  9. I’m tired of my friends asking about it. When you’ve been someone’s sort of girlfriend for almost five months and your friends start asking, “So are you guys, like, a thing?” and you have to say you don’t know, it seriously sucks. I want to be able to feel secure in this quote-unquote relationship… or whatever it is. I think I’ve let it go on for too long without confirming what we actually are to each other.
  10. I want to know that someone has my back. At the end of the day, we all just want to know that someone’s got our back. That if we trip up or have a bad stroke of luck, someone will be there to make things make sense again. I just want to know that someone is there for me as much as I’m there for them.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.