A Guy Who Refuses To Do These 10 Things Definitely Won’t Make Things Official

You can get a pretty good idea about whether or not he’s going to finally man up and make you his official girlfriend by paying attention to his words and more importantly, his actions. If he’s not even doing these 11 things, stop waiting and find someone who’s actually keen on something serious.

  1. Make you a priority When he has a free day, you’re the one he calls. When it’s the weekend, you know that he’s going to want to see you above all else. If he can’t do that and instead is shifty about why he can’t ever make plans, he’s not the one for you.
  2. Keep you in the loop He doesn’t have to give you his Gmail password so you can check out his calendar, but he should keep you in the loop about what he’s doing and his weekend plans. When a guy does that, he’s making it clear that he wants you to be a part of his life. He’s not only being open about his schedule but about his intentions too. He has nothing to hide.
  3. Tell you what’s on his mind (without you having to ask) If you have to ask him what he’s thinking, he’s staying mysterious and vague because he doesn’t want to let you in. Sorry, but if he can’t let you into his thoughts, he’s not going to let you into his life. Before you get frustrated and decide to initiate The Talk with him, bear in mind that his radio silence on a lot of subjects could be your answer. He doesn’t want to take things further.
  4. Ask for advice If he can open up and ask you for advice about how he should deal with a problematic co-worker or what he should do about his family business, it shows that he values and respects your opinions. A guy who does that really feels for you. He sees a relationship as a team. If he’s always doing his own thing and confiding in other people instead of you, he’s not going to DTR. He doesn’t see you and your relationship as important.
  5. Be truly over his ex When a guy’s not properly over his ex, there’s no way he can move forward with someone new. If he’s always talking about her and how much he loved her or got his heart broken by her, it’s clear he’s still living in the past. You should be with someone who’s ready for a new, exciting beginning.
  6. Be open about his past While it’s no good for a guy to have mentionitis about his ex, it’s equally troubling if he never wants to talk about his ex at all. What’s he hiding? A good balance is key—when the guy can speak about his previous relationships in a mature way that shows he’s open with you but isn’t stuck on his past life.
  7. Commit to plans A guy who has no problem making weekend plans on a Monday is not only a keeper but he’s showing you he’s getting closer to defining the relationship. He sees a future with you. He’s blatantly telling you that he’ll prioritize time with you over other things.
  8. Make plans instead of leaving it all to you It’s a good sign if he’s always asking you out and being enthusiastic about possible things you’d like to do on dates. On the other hand, if he changes the subject whenever you mention going out and doing something fun, it’s clear he’s not making your relationship a priority.
  9. Be consistent with his word and texts He says he’ll call and he calls. You text him and he replies within a reasonable amount of time. When a guy’s consistent in his behavior and his actions match his words, he’s giving you a clear message: he wants to be in a relationship with you.
  10. Be quick with the introductions When you bump into his best friend, he introduces you by name or as his girlfriend. OK, the latter might be awkward if he hasn’t DTR’d yet, but the point is that he’s not going to try to avoid those introductions between you and his loved ones. He won’t drop and roll to avoid his friend or say you’re his “friend.”
  11. Be your plus-one. If your bestie’s wedding is coming up and you ask your guy to be your date but he says he can’t because he “has a thing” on that day, it’s a red flag—especially if he always does this whenever you need a plus-one. On the other hand, if he’s keen to be seen with you in public as your date, he’s obviously keen to make things official.
Jessica Blake is a writer who loves good books and good men, and realizes how difficult it is to find both.