Good conversation is imperative on dates, especially when you’re just getting to know someone. But that doesn’t mean any old subject is on the table. In fact, some of us guys are easily put off when the women we’re dating asks us these things.
- “What are we?” There’s a time and a place to have the relationship talk, and it’s almost always several months down the line. If you try to ask this question too soon, it’s probably not going to go well. More importantly, most guys aren’t going to have a good answer to this question. We also don’t like having everything put on us. If you want to bring up your relationship status, avoid asking a question and just say something like, “I think we should be…” or “I think it’s time to talk about…” This can start the conversation without putting us on the spot.
- “Does this outfit make me look…?” It shouldn’t be a surprise to hear that guys hate answering questions about your body image issues. To be frank, you’re just going to have to trust that if we’re going out with you, we like the way you look. If you ask us a question about your body, we’re rarely going to say the right thing. On the rare occasion that we do, you’ll probably just accuse us of saying what you want to hear, so there’s no winning when it comes to questions like this.
- “Why are you still single?” You may be thinking this while out with a guy, but it’s such a loaded question and a little insulting. Obviously, all of our previous relationships didn’t work out for one reason or another. Do you really want us to relive past relationships or start rattling off all of our flaws and shortcomings? Well, we don’t want to either. Just get to know us a little more and you may find the answer naturally or you’ll figure out that it doesn’t matter.
- “Where do you see yourself in five years?” This seems like a good question to ask when trying to get to know someone, but keep in mind that dates aren’t the same as job interviews. If we hear you ask this question, we may think that you’re making future plans a little prematurely. Quite frankly, it could scare us away. Try to find more creative ways to ask about our life goals and future plans without pulling out this cliche.
- “Am I your type?” If the answer is yes, it could mean we’re not that interested in you personally but believe you fit the profile of the kind of woman that we’ve dated in the past. If the answer is no, it’ll immediately cast doubt on the future of the relationship. In other words, there’s no good answer to this question. I find it’s best not to get caught up into whether you’re a certain type that a guy prefers. Just get to know each other naturally and let that tell you if you’re a good fit or not.
- “Who are you texting?” No, we shouldn’t be texting in the middle of a date, but that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to ask us who we’re texting. Guys hate being asked this because it makes it seem like you’re suspicious and don’t trust us. Needless to say, we don’t like that very much. One thing you should know is that a genuinely good guy will tell you unprompted who he’s texting and apologize for doing so in the middle of your date. If he’s texting mid-date without an explanation, he’s probably a sketchy character.
- “Do you think your family/friends will like me?” This question is meaningless because we’re more or less forced to answer yes. No guy in his right mind is going to tell his date, “You know what, my family is probably going to hate you.” Also, guys hate being asked this because unless there are firm plans to actually meet our friends and family, it feels like you’re trying too hard to push the relationship forward.
- “What are you thinking?” I’ve personally been asked this countless times and I hate it every single time and I know most guys feel the same. We honestly have no idea how to answer this. To be frank, our minds are rarely swirling with eloquent thoughts just waiting to be shared with the world. Being asked this question really puts us on the spot, putting pressure on us to dazzle you with something profound. It’s like you’re setting us up to disappoint you, which we naturally don’t like very much.