Finding love has been an exhausting process for many reasons, but the one thing that’s been particularly annoying AF is the number of guys who think it’s okay to treat me like an object instead of a human being. I’ve been on the receiving end of countless sexual comments and gestures throughout my life, and this is why I simply can’t take it anymore:
- I’ve been sexualized my entire life. I can’t remember a time in my life other than my childhood where crude and unwanted sexual comments haven’t been thrown at me on the regular. As soon as I hit puberty and developed a more womanly body, I became a target of all kinds of disgusting behavior. The worst part is I know I’m not the only woman to experience this. It’s just unfortunate that we’ve become numb to it and have accepted it as a way of life when we deserve way better.
- Making sexual comments to me before we’ve even had coffee is ridiculous. I’m so sick of the guys who make oral sex references or comment on my ass before we’ve even built any rapport at all, let alone gotten close enough to make flirtatious sexual remarks acceptable in the first place. They think it’s okay to talk to me like I’m a walking, talking sex doll instead of a human being. It sucks.
- I don’t buy the notion that this is “just how guys are.” I don’t care how the typical man is “supposed” to behave; to me, a real man is patient and treats me like his equal instead of someone who is only around to benefit him sexually. The idea that people believe that “this is just a guy thing” is ridiculous. Nope, sorry. It’s a jerk thing.
- There are plenty of men who value women for more then just sex. There are a big ton of grown men out there who aren’t constantly thinking with their penises. Decent people use their brains and logic above everything else. I just wish that more of those guys would teach their friends how to stop behaving like adolescent cavemen.
- I’m not into neanderthals. Haven’t we evolved? Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like this behavior has progressively gotten worse over time. When I was first introduced to online dating, penis pics weren’t a legitimate concern. Saying no to sex wasn’t a cause for worry, and now, I never know how things will turn out if I turn a guy down. So much for forward progress.
- I have way more to offer than just my body. I get it: guys have penises and I have their biological bestie south of my waist, but that doesn’t mean that’s the only thing that makes me valuable. I try not to let it upset me, because otherwise I’m labelled “angry” or “crazy”, but it’s hard to hide it when I’ve literally spent more than half my life being treated like I’m a piece of meat.
- Treating me like an object is a great way to go from hero to zero real quick. Anytime a guy pulls this BS on me and become a guaranteed way to get on my crap list. A good way for a player to make himself known is simply to make a comment about my body or the disgusting things he thinks he’s entitled to do with it when he doesn’t even know me. No matter how great he starts off, the moment that switch flips, I’m out. I’m not looking to date a disrespectful loser.
- I’m exhausted. I’m so drained, saddened, and deflated by having to constantly fight off entitled remarks about my body. I’m a real person, and just because I’m single and looking for love doesn’t mean that guys can just take advantage of that. It’s a pretty sad time to be alive when women have to question why a guy is acting so charming. Is he actually genuine, or is he just trying to get me into bed? Will I ever know the difference?
- I shouldn’t have to say this is not okay. As many good guys that are out there who know their manners, there are still far too many that don’t. I shouldn’t need to constantly be on guard against some creep who thinks it’s okay to send me a picture of his penis or talk about how my legs would look spread on his mattress. You’d think this stuff would be common-sense courtesy, but it’s clearly not.