Women have to deal with so much BS on a daily basis. There are catcalls, the pay gap, and rampant sexism. Then, for cis women, there’s menstrual pain, the burden of birth control, and not to mention the excruciating process of childbirth. Let’s be real, it’s just harder being a woman. When you have a female lover, you should do everything to treat her like the queen she is.
Don’t be shy about big and small romantic gestures.
Most women want to be lavished. There are a million ways to make a girl feel special (because she is). You can make a small, but thoughtful, gesture by buying her some flowers or planning out a lovely date night as a surprise. Or, you could go big by planning a trip, throwing her a surprise birthday party with her loved ones, or by showing up on her lunch break with her favorite meal. If you really love her, these actions will be easy. They’ll fill your heart as much as they’ll fill hers.
Make her the priority in your life that she deserves to be.
When you have a good woman that you love, you should be doing everything in your power to keep her around. One of the biggest ways to do this is by showing her through your actions that she’s important to you. Make regular time for her in your schedule to show her that she is indeed a top priority in your life.
Actually spend the time to date her thoughtfully.
Dating doesn’t end a few months into the relationship. Dating can and should go on for the duration of the partnership. From the early days to the days where you know each other well, really take the time to be intentional about dating. Think of places that you both would have a blast at and take her there. Bring her out to eat, do things like open the door for her, and take the time to treat each date as if it’s a precious gift (because it is).
Don’t just tell her she’s beautiful, also tell her all the other amazing things she is.
Being called beautiful is great and all, but she’s also WAY more than beautiful. She’s may be any number of these things: intelligent, quirky, clever, kind, loving, thoughtful, driven, inspiring, and compassionate. Get creative when you’re telling her how lovely she is because if she really is beautiful, chances are she’s heard it a hundred times.
But also, tell her she’s beautiful.
This is going to be a seeming contradiction, but also don’t just throw the word beautiful out the window. Call her many other things and also remind her that she’s beautiful. In truth, a woman can never hear it enough.
Regularly be honest with her in a tactful way.
This is a tricky one because honesty doesn’t mean just telling your partner every unprocessed thought and feeling in your mind. Actually, sometimes doing that can cause more damage. Instead, being honest means processing what’s going on for you (sometimes with friends or professionals), then sharing it with her when appropriate. Being tactfully honest is about gauging the right times to talk, how much to say, and how to say it.
Be completely dependable.
One of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz for living a better life is to “be impeccable with your word.” This essentially means to show up when you say you will and to follow through on promises. If you’ve proven yourself worthy of her trust, it’s important not to break it. I know we’re all imperfect humans, but it’s important to be as dependable as humanly possible so that she knows you mean business.
Take the time to effectively communicate about everything.
Never brush communication under the rug. Maybe she just needs to talk about a weird feeling she has. Give her space to process and be sure to open up to her. Communication may take practice on your end, but she’s expecting you to do the best you can.
Be emotionally available for her and for your life.
Emotional availability is a phrase that’s thrown around often. Let’s talk about what it looks like to be emotionally available. Your communication skills are effective—meaning you can communicate while preserving the relationship and also can get your needs met. You are able to tune into what your emotions and thoughts are, then can share them competently with your partner. You can process difficult emotions without exploding or acting out. These are just some characteristics of emotional availability. You owe it to yourself and your partner to be this way.
Handle conflict with respect.
If you’re emotionally available, you’re able to handle conflict without doing irreparable damage. Instead of name-calling or storming off, you instead have to be willing to work out conflict in a sensitive way. You need to maintain respect for both your partner and yourself. Your girlfriend deals with enough having strangers catcall her while she walks home from work, she doesn’t need your crap, too.
Have separate lives.
This isn’t all about your partner. Sure, she’s great and you need to do a lot to maintain the relationship. Still, both of you are your own people. She’s going to want her own space and you should have yours, too. Be sure to have a job, friends, and hobbies outside of your romantic relationship. She’s going to want a night out with her friends and you should have something you want to be doing, too.
Brag about her to your loved ones.
Okay, okay, this suggestion isn’t mandatory, but if you have a woman you’re head over heels for, don’t you want to tell the world? Trust me, your woman will go gaga hearing that you were saying amazing things about her to the people who are most important to you.
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