It’s Hard To Stay Positive About Love When Guys Keep Doing These Things

We’re all adults here and acting like it shouldn’t be that hard. Unfortunately, a lot of guys just don’t seem to know how to date or how to even be a legit human being. I keep hoping this will change but I’ve seen this behavior way too many times to be super optimistic. I want to find love and I’m trying to stay positive, but these 10 things guys do drive me nuts.

  1. Being too eager. When guys get a girl’s phone number, it’s like they have no idea how to pace themselves or text like a well-adjusted person. I don’t think I’m the only girl who absolutely hates guys who text all the time. I have a life and a job and I can’t just sit on my phone all day long. Guys should never assume that this is okay because it’s just not.
  2. Not being eager enough. Maybe guys really are interested in pursuing something and then when it gets real, they reveal how much of a baby they truly are. However, it often feels like the interest any guy pays me in the beginning is just for show and that’s getting old. If you want to get to know me, that interest should be constant, and it certainly shouldn’t fade in the first week or so.
  3. Canceling last-minute. Whether it’s a first date or the beginning of a relationship doesn’t seem to matter much, because a lot of guys think canceling about an hour before they’re supposed to meet someone is totally fine. It’s really not. It’s rude and disrespectful and leaves me with a free night when I could have made other plans.
  4. Being afraid of commitment. What’s up with this? Seriously, it makes zero sense. If a guy doesn’t want to date me, I’d rather he just be honest instead of pretending he doesn’t want a girlfriend at all. If a guy is honestly afraid to date at all, I don’t get that either because being in a relationship brings a lot of happiness and purpose to life. It’s not a death sentence. Why can’t they get that through their heads? This is one of the things that makes it so hard to stay positive about love.
  5. Dating a bunch of girls at once. This lovely thing called online dating has definitely made it easier for guys to act like players, but most of them can barely handle one girl, let alone a whole group. I’m over guys thinking that more is better and that spending quality time with one person isn’t worth it.
  6. Being obnoxious. A joke and an insult are two different things, and yet so many guys refuse to see that distinction. Insulting people is never going to be cool and if one more guy tells me that writing is only a hobby, I don’t know what I’m going to do.
  7. Being intimidated by strong women. There is absolutely no reason to be intimidated by strong, intelligent women, and yet this is a problem that so many faces. I have no idea why this keeps happening. I don’t brag and I’m as humble as the next girl. If guys want to feel like losers, that’s on them — they’re responsible for making themselves feel bad.
  8. Doing just the bare minimum. Call it breadcrumbing or passive ghosting. Whatever the best term is, this really sucks. I can’t stand when guys think that getting in touch every few days without asking me out again is the best way to keep me interested. This has the opposite effect and I’m always ready to move on.
  9. Constantly complaining. What’s with guys being so completely negative and miserable these days? They’re tired. They’re annoyed. They hate their jobs. They hate their lives. There are always a whole bunch of complaints on first dates and even when exchanging messages beforehand and it’s getting pretty boring. I’m a happy person and make an effort to stay positive on dates, so I totally expect the same.
  10. Being judgmental. If a guy wants to judge me based on his past experiences or refuses to really see me for who I am, I can’t change that, but it’s still pretty frustrating. No guy should ever assume anything about any girl that he’s dealing with — they’re just asking to stay single forever. I’m not planning on that, though, so if I see any of these things that guys do, I’m out of there.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.