It sounds harsh to say that an almost relationship is never going to be the official, long-term relationship you wanted it to be, but it’s time to get real! You might think that the almost relationship you’re in feels real and is special, but is it worth wasting time and energy on? Nope.
You’re fooled into thinking something big’s going to happen. One of the main qualities of almost relationships is that you think you’re almost at the foot of Grand Love. Only, you never actually get there. You’re in a maze, and the exit is always out of reach. Hence its name: almost. You’re “almost” in love.
You have nothing. Almost relationships are somewhere in-between being single and having a relationship, but they’re not actually a stepping stone to anything. You’re acting like you’re in a couple, but you’re not. So what do you have? Nothing. When you have nothing, you can’t grow roses out of it.
It’s an illusion. Yes, when the guy chats to you on the phone for hours, it sure as hell feels like he’s your boyfriend. Same goes for when he takes you out on romantic dates. But everything you have in your almost relationship isn’t real. He’s still not your boyfriend and if he’s not making a real effort to be one, then there’s no reason why he should in future.
There are way too many doubts. Geez, almost relationships are exhausting AF! You’re riddled with doubts about his feelings, the situation, and if things are going to happen. Deep down in your heart, though, you know the relationships that really matter and stand the test of time don’t make you feel like you have 99 questions and no answers.
Things don’t progress. You know by now you and the guy you’re dating should’ve been breaking some relationship milestones. But you’re in a stagnant relationship. You’re not moving forward. You’re like a car stuck in a ditch, waiting for the big push to get you out of it. But it never comes. Damn, there are better things to do on a Friday night!
It’s a lame excuse. Sorry, but almost relationships feel like an excuse for guys wanting to stay in a casual relationship. The promise is that you’ll be figuring things out and choosing each other, but excuse me, WTF is there to “figure out”? You’re either in or out—and “almost in” doesn’t cut it.
Love is plain and simple. We tend to make it super complicated when it really doesn’t need to be. When you love someone, you want to be with them. You’re trustworthy and you make effort in the relationship. Period. That’s not what’s going on in your almost relationship.
Labels matter. You might tell your friends that the guy’s so amazing and treats you like the most beautiful woman in the world. That’s great and all, but sooner or later they’re going to ask, “So is he, like, your boyfriend?” Look, if he was really into you, he’d be putting a girlfriend label on you. Shouldn’t he have done so by now?
Your strong feelings don’t make this real. You might think that since you’ve caught a serious case of the feels for this guy, that’s a good enough reason to stay with him and wait for him to make things official. But ask yourself: are his actions a sign that he’s reciprocating your feelings? Probably not, otherwise you’d be in a real relationship.
How you start paves the way. The relationship should’ve been real and official from the start if it was going to go anywhere. Almost relationships are sort of like unrequited love in that way: if the guy wants you, he’s going to want to make that clear from the beginning. It’s highly unlikely that he’ll wake up a year from now and go, “Oh yeah, I should totally ask her out! I’m so damn forgetful.”
He’s not meeting your expectations. You shouldn’t be sitting with a pile of relationship expectations waiting for the guy to meet them. If he hasn’t, he probably won’t. The danger of hanging around means you’ll be lowering those expectations to get the guy—not worth it! No relationship that’s worth your love will make you stoop so low.
Your intentions don’t match. You have the best intentions for this almost relationship to become a happily ever after one, but how do you know that he does? Chances are, he didn’t enter this almost setup with the idea of being your boyfriend, but because it was convenient for him. Maybe he’s got other women on the side or he just wanted a challenge. Sad, but often true.
You should strive for more than “almost.” Would you want to start an “almost” business or “almost” win a million dollars? Where’s the fun in that? You deserve to say that you got what you wanted because it makes the energy you’ve invested into achieving it much more worth it. Don’t waste that energy on a guy who promises you an “almost” love. Aim higher!
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