I Have A Kink That I’m Too Scared To Tell Guys About

I really want to try pegging with a guy, but it’s a kink I’m too scared to share with most men because I’m scared I’ll send them running. It’s still taboo for some people, which is super unfortunate because I’ve heard it can be great for both partners.

  1. I feel like it’d be a lot of fun. I don’t know where I first learned about pegging, but ever since I did, I’ve wanted to try it. It’s just something that I’ve wanted for a while now but I haven’t had the right scenario with the right guy yet. When I meet him, we’re definitely going for it.
  2. Perhaps it’s a power thing. Misogyny is all over and patriarchy rules in many ways still, especially when it comes to sex. I imagine when a woman is pegging a man, though, she has the utmost power. I think I’d enjoy that very much—having a guy turn over his power over to me. I guess this comes with enjoying being the dominator—I like the power trip that I can go on. I think pegging would be the same thing.
  3. I’m a switch, so I’d love to top. As far as BDSM goes, I’m generally a switch, meaning I like to be both dominated and dominator. As a result of this, I’d enjoy being the one in power. Being on top of a man in that way just seems like it’d be so gratifying. I could really turn on the dominator in me and get a lot of enjoyment out of doing so. It’s nice to switch the roles up and flip those gender roles on their heads altogether.
  4. Butt play is fun in general, I think. It’s almost taboo for some people to talk about butt play, but this is so silly. It’s just a natural and fun thing to do. I’ve done it on a smaller scale, not quite to the extent of pegging, and both my partner and I have enjoyed it. It can really spice things up in the bedroom and add a daring element that’s sexy.
  5. I feel like most guys are terrified of pegging. I’m pretty afraid that most men will be freaked out by the idea and they’ll run for the hills. Maybe this is a misconception and I should go out to talk to some men about it, but I’m pretty sure a lot of guys are scared for a variety of reasons. Some of them might be afraid that it’ll hurt, but I bet more of their hesitance is about internalized shame.
  6. Some men may feel it threatens their masculinity. There’s a misconception with some men that butt play at all is “gay.” Going as far as having their partner put a dildo in their butt with a strap-on leaves them feeling like they’re no longer men, which is some toxic masculinity bullcrap. Not saying every man has to be comfortable with this, I’m just saying any guy that shames his partner or other people for doing this is wrong.
  7. I’m trying to remember that having a kink is totally normal. Sometimes I feel shame or weirdness about having this kink. Then I have to remember that it’s completely okay and normal. Everyone has different things that get them off and the right guy won’t shame me for my desires.
  8. I’m sure I’d have better luck with queer guys. As a queer woman, I often find myself dating other queers. When I date queer men, they’ve also often been with other men. I’m guessing as a result of this, they’d be more open to an experience like pegging because they’re accustomed to butt play anyway. They also probably wouldn’t have such fragile senses of their masculinity. Many of them would likely just be cool with pegging—I should really test that theory soon.
  9. Someday I’m sure I’ll get to do it. Maybe it’s not going to be with the next guy, but I bet someday in my life I’ll get to experience pegging a dude. I’m sure I’ll be with someone, be it a hookup or a long-term relationship, where the guy will be open-minded enough to give it a shot. If I didn’t get the chance sometime in this lifetime, I’d be devastated, so I’ll have to make it happen somehow!
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.