Having Sex In A Car Is Awkward, Uncomfortable, And Completely Overrated

I consider myself a sexually adventurous person and an open-minded one, too. There’s not a lot of stuff I won’t try at least once, even if just to say I did. However, there’s one thing I’ve done that I just don’t see the hype about, and that’s car sex. Trying to get off in the back seat of a Toyota Prius isn’t really my idea of a good time, and that’s putting it lately. In fact, having sex in a car is so bad, I feel like everyone who claims it’s great is lying to themselves and everyone else.

Why do so people (claim to) like car sex?

  1. It has the novelty factor. Sex in a car can be a new and exciting experience for some people. It can be a way to break out of a routine and try something different. It seems like it might be more fun and exciting than having sex in a bed (boring!) and I think it makes people feel more adventurous.
  2. It offers a bit of privacy if you have roommates/live with your parents. Putting the fact that you could just rent a hotel room instead, car sex seems like a good way to get laid if you don’t have any privacy at home. If you live with your parents, have nosy roommates, or just have very thin walls, this might seem like a good option.
  3. It’s a different kind of intimacy. For some couples, having sex in a confined space like a car can create a sense of intimacy and closeness. It can feel like a shared secret or adventure that brings them closer together. There are other ways to achieve this same feeling, but hey, who am I to judge?
  4. It’s nostalgic. Some people may associate car sex with their younger, more spontaneous days and feel nostalgic or romantic about the idea. Who hasn’t fooled around in someone’s car in high school? It makes you feel like a teenager again, and a lot of people are always chasing that feeling.
  5. It’s seen as more spontaneous. I don’t think anyone ever really plans to have sex in a car. It tends to be a spur-of-the-moment decision that adds an element of excitement and impulsivity to sex. Again, if you’re worried about being perceived as boring or like some kind of sexual fuddy-duddy, you’ll probably want to try car sex.
  6. It’s vaguely thrilling. For some people, the risk of getting caught or the adrenaline rush of doing something taboo can be a turn-on. I definitely thought so before I tried it. It sorta got me all hot and bothered just thinking about it. (Imagine my disappointment then when it was awful!)
  7. It feeds into people’s exhibitionist side. Some people get off on the idea of being seen or heard by other people while having sex in a car. They may not want to go whole-hog and start boning in a public park but they do want that bit of excitement of people possibly seeing them.
  8. You can do it anywhere. A car drives you places. You can then park that car and get it on. The ability to take your f**kfest on the road is pretty alluring to a lot of people, I guess.

Now, here’s why all of those reasons are bullsh*t — aka why car sex sucks

  1. There’s no f**king space. Cars are incredibly cramped in the best of circumstances, but I’m 5’10” and have long legs. My boyfriend at the time was over 6 feet tall. As you can imagine, this posed some serious logistical problems. Trying to make our limbs fit and get our bits and pieces in the right place was nearly impossible.
  2. The angles are awkward and all wrong. Because we had no space, the fact that he even got his penis in the right hole was a small miracle. Car sex was supposed to be exciting and super hot, but it was actually just uncomfortable and not at all pleasurable. It probably didn’t help that nothing was quite sliding as much as it usually does, either.
  3. The noise factor is not a good look. Cars can be noisy, especially if you’re parked in a public place or on a busy road. That’s stressful AF to me and certainly didn’t help me relax. My boyfriend and I parked up in a sort of deserted foresty area in our town (just like in the movies!) so there weren’t too many people around, but people did pass by sometimes. I was terrified of moaning or screaming too much, but given how disastrous the whole thing was, I shouldn’t have worried…
  4. It’s really uncomfortable. Car seats are not designed with comfort during sex in mind. The cushioning isn’t necessarily all that supportive and you can’t even lean the back seats back. I’m used to being on my padded mattress on cotton sheets. It’s not the Ritz Carleton, but it’s sure as hell better than a car.
  5. There’s no privacy. Sure, a car offers a vague level of privacy and discretion. However, it’s still possible for someone to stumble upon you or hear what you’re doing. The mere thought of this made it impossible for me to get my head in the game and get horny enough to do it. I would have been mortified if someone saw what we were doing, especially given the fact that I’m 28, not 15.
  6. It’s always either too cold or too hot. The temperature is never, ever right for car sex. If it’s cold outside, turning the heating on will make sex unbearable but your body heat isn’t enough to actually keep you warm (and you don’t exactly want to describe in the first place). In the summertime, you can turn on the AC, but that eats gas and then gets absolutely frigid.
  7. It’s definitely not hygienic. Cars are definitely not the cleanest or most sanitary location for sex. While my ex was thrusting away inside of me, I couldn’t help notice all the dust, dirt, and other stuff on the seats or floor. I prayed that I didn’t end up with some kind of bacterial infection when it was all said and done.
  8. No one’s trying to get arrested for a mediocre lay. Fine, we may not have been handcuffed and marched down to the county jail, but I’m pretty sure car sex isn’t legal. The last thing I need is a criminal record because I was fumbling around in frustration in the back of my boyfriend’s car. That really would have been the icing on the cake.
Bolde Voices represents writers from around the world who want to share their stories anonymously. While everything you read is based on personal experience, it's the ability to tell their truths without being identified that allows those behind the pieces you read to be so brutally honest.