I find first dates awkward in general, but what’s weirder is when a guy rocks up to one with backup. I went on a date with a guy who had the nerve to invite his friend along without asking me first and it was a total turn-off.
Who does that? We’d met online, hit it off, and agreed to meet for coffee. I thought it was pretty understood that it was just us two, but then he turned up with his bro in tow. If the guy felt creeped out or worried about meeting a stranger off a dating site, he should’ve just said so. Instead, I turned up to meet him and saw that he had someone at the table with him. At first, I thought it was a case of him bumping into a friend who would disappear once I arrived, but he introduced his friend and his friend stayed put. Awkward!
I started to feel like a third wheel pretty much immediately. They had their private jokes and I was just there to watch them interact. Ugh. This was supposed to have been a one-on-one date but it quickly became something weird and uncomfortable thanks to this dude’s weird decision to bring his friend. It seems like a pretty childish thing to do and I really couldn’t figure out why he’d done it.
If he’d have warned me, I could’ve brought my BFF too. The worst thing about this is that we could’ve actually had a cool time if he’d been open with me. If he’d told me that he was bringing his bestie along, I could’ve said, “Cool, I’ll bring mine too!” We could’ve made it a group date or something. At least I would’ve felt as comfortable as my date was by having backup.
I felt like I was on a stressful job interview. Although he and his friend were cool and funny, it often felt like I was in a job interview. They’d ask me questions about my life and I felt like I was totally put on the spot. It was horrible. I couldn’t be myself and I couldn’t joke with my date about our own private conversations because his friend was always there. I started to wonder how much of our private conversations he’d shared with this guy. Considering he felt comfortable enough to bring him on our first date, I had a feeling he’d told him a lot more than I was comfortable with.
He had the benefit of a quick exit. One of the most disturbing things about how he’d brought his friend along to our date was that he had an easy way out of the date if he didn’t think I was a match for him. He could simply get his friend to make up an excuse for the both of them to GTFO, and that’s exactly what happened. Halfway into the date, the guy’s friend said that they were on their way to a work meeting and had to leave. Seriously? Clearly the date had gone badly and now I felt rejected by two guys instead of one.
Our digital connection had been a total lie. I enjoyed getting to know this guy online and had hoped our connection would continue to thrive on our first date. But he handled things like a total coward. Clearly our connection hadn’t been worth anything to him, otherwise, he would’ve taken it seriously by being man enough to go on our first date without having to hold his best friend’s hand all the way through it.
At least I didn’t date a man-child. What helped me deal with my rejection and humiliation was the realization that I didn’t have to waste more time with a guy who was so childish. I want a guy who can stand on his own two feet and not be a big baby in the dating game. Really, he’d done me a favor by showing me what an immature douchebag he was.
He had the nerve to text me a week later. I wasn’t expecting to hear from the guy again, but he texted me about a week after our ridiculous date. He said it had been great meeting me and wanted to know how I was doing. Ha, was he serious? I was so tempted to ask him if he ran his texts past his best friend before sending them to women, but I held back. Instead, I asked him how his friend was doing. This was my subtle way of initiating the topic of why he’d felt the need to bring him on our date.
He came clean but the damage was done. He said he hoped it hadn’t been weird for him to do that, but he’d felt too awkward and self-conscious to fly solo on our first date. I told him it was OK but we weren’t a good match. I just wanted to move on from this guy who clearly needed to get his act together and grow up before he went searching for a girlfriend. Good riddance!
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