What is it with some guys? The minute you have a romantic partner, they creep out of the woodwork. Sometimes they’re so good at acting interested in you that it can really mess with your head and make you fall for their act. That’s what happened to me. I was crazy about a guy, but he only wanted me when I was already taken.
I had a major crush on him.
We’d been friends for a few years and I’d been crushing on him since meeting him. He just never took our few flirtations and kisses to the next level, which made me accept friendship with him instead of nothing, but I have to admit I kept hoping that someday he’d change his mind.
I moved on.
I knew it was silly to wait around for this guy who clearly only wanted to be my friend, so, even though I was still into him, I forced myself to move on and date other guys. I wasn’t going to sit around and waste my time and energy on someone who wasn’t feeling me.
I found a cool guy online.
For the first time since kissing my crush, I’d found a guy who made me feel a spark again. It was bliss! Then, about two weeks into our relationship which I’d made Facebook official (and which my friend must’ve seen), my former crush called me for a catch-up conversation.
He wanted more than a chat.
The guy wasn’t just calling to say hi — he specifically wanted to know everything about my new relationship. Nosy, much? I tried not to let it get to me, but something just felt weird, especially because he could easily go for weeks or months at a time without talking to me when I was single. Why the interest now?
He kept in touch afterward.
After our little telephone chat, he then called me the next day and texted me really often. He sometimes pretended that my boyfriend didn’t exist, ignoring if I told him I was on my way out with him.
He then started hinting at romance.
One night during a phone chat, he said that I was the one who’d got away. What? Let’s recap, shall we? I had to fill in him on what had really happened because I hate it when guys say you’re the one who got away when they were the ones who pushed you away! I’d been interested in him and he’d wanted to remain friends. I pointed this out to him and he said he’d made a mistake, adding that we should’ve tried having a relationship. Uh, what?!
Did this mean…?
I didn’t want to get ahead of myself or anything, but did that mean he was keen on dating me now? It sure as hell seemed so. I realized how much I still liked him and that negatively influenced the budding relationship I had going with the other guy.
I ended things prematurely.
Even though that new guy was amazing, I just didn’t feel like my heart was in dating him. I wanted to see what would happen with my friend, who I’d wanted to date for years! Didn’t I owe that to myself?
I was single again.
And waiting for my friend to ask me out. He was happy to hear I was single, but guess what? He didn’t ask me out. We settled back into a comfortable friendship. He stopped phoning and texting me so much. It was a huge blow to my self-esteem. Had I done something wrong to put him off? What had made him go off me?
It was back to the dating drawing board.
I tried to forget about my friend. After a few months on the dating scene, I started dating a new guy who seemed cool. Once we were a couple, my friend got back in touch. Ugh, did he have cameras and bugs installed in my house? It’s like he knew when a guy was coming over all the time and that made him want to talk to me again.
The cycle started all over again.
He started flirting with me more now that I was dating someone new. He was always hinting that he liked me and I was “his girl.” Whatever. Instead of charming me, it was starting to piss me off.
He was persistent.
He kept calling and texting, and once he even said that if I were single we could’ve gone out on a date. I told him I was seeing someone else and if he’d wanted me, he would’ve made a move on me in the five years that we’d been friends! He acted all hurt by that comment, but I didn’t care. It was time to face the truth about this guy, once and for all.
Nothing would ever happen with him.
I knew that he was always going to try to hit on me when I was with someone else, but then not be interested in me when I was single. I don’t know what that was about, but I think he just loved the chase.
What kind of friend does that?
Although we’d been good friends, I started to question how much of a friendship we actually had. I don’t want a friend who leads me down the garden path and manipulates me to get his kicks. Hell no. I started to wean myself off him as a friend because he really wasn’t acting like the kind of supportive friend who cared about my feelings that I wanted in my life. Bye!
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