Here’s Why I Don’t Stress About Being Single

Here’s Why I Don’t Stress About Being Single ©iStock/Tassii

As someone who’s been single for what feels like forever, I always have two choices: suck it up and be happy with what I do have or totally freak out. The second option can feel like the most tempting one, but it’s never going to get me anywhere so I try really hard not to stress:

  1. I have more time than I think. Forget ticking biological clocks and the years moving closer and closer to 30. Every day, there’s a new love story about people who took a little longer to find each other — like my mom’s former coworker who’s now madly in love in his 40s. I have more time than I think I do, and I’m not going to worry about it.
  2. I always get dates. Whenever I think I’ll never get another date, it’s like one magically appears. There’s no use stressing when I go on more dates than I even want to and keep putting in the effort to meet people, no matter how frustrating, and no matter how weird some of these guys end up being.
  3. I’m not ready for everything. Sure, I want a happy relationship, but my life is pretty chill and calm the way that it is right now. I’m not looking to walk down the aisle tomorrow or start having a family right away, so what’s the rush?
  4. I’m in the same boat as my BFFs. With one exception, my best friends are all just like me: happily single. No whining here (unless you catch us telling a bad date story, and then we just can’t help ourselves). If my friends are dealing with the same stuff that I am — swiping, chatting, debating if someone is worth meeting IRL — then there’s zero reason to get worked up. It’s not like they’re all married with toddlers in the suburbs.
  5. I like being single. There, I said it. I like focusing on my career, watching my reality shows, going to bed early and having my alone time. It’s not that I want things to stay like this forever, but for now, my life really is enough.
  6. I’ve walked away a lot. There have been countless first dates that honestly wanted a second one and more with me, and I knew they weren’t the right guys. If I really wanted a BF, I could have shrugged and went along with it, but that’s not my style. But knowing that I’m single by choice helps.
  7. I’ve been through it all. Ghosting, benching, dinner dates, dates I didn’t know were really a date, being insulted, guys who didn’t talk, clingy texters — I’ve seen it all. Instead of letting these things send me under my covers forever, I’m empowered by my dating experience. It makes me feel like I can handle whatever happens and that being single really isn’t a death sentence, because while I weed through the jerks and losers, I have my awesome life.
  8. I have options. If there was no such thing as online dating, yeah, I might be having a massive freak-out right now. But thanks to this little thing called options, I can go through my days with the hopeful feeling that there’s someone out there for me — I just haven’t met him yet. And he’s going to make all the low moments and all those crappy dates worth it.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.
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