As someone who’s been single for what feels like forever, I always have two choices: suck it up and be happy with what I do have or totally freak out. The second option can feel like the most tempting one, but it’s never going to get me anywhere so I try really hard not to stress:
- I have more time than I think. Forget ticking biological clocks and the years moving closer and closer to 30. Every day, there’s a new love story about people who took a little longer to find each other — like my mom’s former coworker who’s now madly in love in his 40s. I have more time than I think I do, and I’m not going to worry about it.
- I always get dates. Whenever I think I’ll never get another date, it’s like one magically appears. There’s no use stressing when I go on more dates than I even want to and keep putting in the effort to meet people, no matter how frustrating, and no matter how weird some of these guys end up being.
- I’m not ready for everything. Sure, I want a happy relationship, but my life is pretty chill and calm the way that it is right now. I’m not looking to walk down the aisle tomorrow or start having a family right away, so what’s the rush?
- I’m in the same boat as my BFFs. With one exception, my best friends are all just like me: happily single. No whining here (unless you catch us telling a bad date story, and then we just can’t help ourselves). If my friends are dealing with the same stuff that I am — swiping, chatting, debating if someone is worth meeting IRL — then there’s zero reason to get worked up. It’s not like they’re all married with toddlers in the suburbs.
- I like being single. There, I said it. I like focusing on my career, watching my reality shows, going to bed early and having my alone time. It’s not that I want things to stay like this forever, but for now, my life really is enough.
- I’ve walked away a lot. There have been countless first dates that honestly wanted a second one and more with me, and I knew they weren’t the right guys. If I really wanted a BF, I could have shrugged and went along with it, but that’s not my style. But knowing that I’m single by choice helps.
- I’ve been through it all. Ghosting, benching, dinner dates, dates I didn’t know were really a date, being insulted, guys who didn’t talk, clingy texters — I’ve seen it all. Instead of letting these things send me under my covers forever, I’m empowered by my dating experience. It makes me feel like I can handle whatever happens and that being single really isn’t a death sentence, because while I weed through the jerks and losers, I have my awesome life.
- I have options. If there was no such thing as online dating, yeah, I might be having a massive freak-out right now. But thanks to this little thing called options, I can go through my days with the hopeful feeling that there’s someone out there for me — I just haven’t met him yet. And he’s going to make all the low moments and all those crappy dates worth it.
