If He’s Still Active On Dating Apps, He’s Not Interested In You—End Of Story

These days, it seems like dating apps offer the best chance of finding your next partner. However, it’s a huge problem if the two of you are on your way to becoming official and monogamous and he hasn’t deleted his accounts. You might justify his behavior by insisting that it’s early days and you’re not even a real couple yet. However, this is a sign that your relationship isn’t going anywhere.

  1. No guy out there will keep browsing just “for fun.” There are so many better things this dude could be doing. Getting himself in hot water for simply browsing other women online just isn’t on the list. If your guy actually respected you, he’d have deleted those apps the second things got serious. If you catch him with an active profile, it means he probably isn’t ready to be a trustworthy boyfriend.
  2. Nor is he on Tinder to “help out a friend.” This is an excuse that so many guys give. If they get caught using Tinder, they’ll say they did it because their friend wanted to see if their girlfriend was on there or because their friend wanted to learn how to use the app before committing. Is this legit? Nine out of 10 times, no. People know how dating apps work by now, and if your guy’s friend is having relationship problems, that’s something your boyfriend shouldn’t want to mess with aside from verbal support.
  3. He honestly thinks you’re not smart enough to figure it out. Cheaters often assume that their lies are bulletproof. If you openly point out the flaws in what he’s saying, he may turn it on you and accuse you of not trusting him. Don’t feel guilty over this and realize that you have the right to doubt him.
  4. Nobody uses Tinder to make new friends. Tinder is for relationships and hooking up. Sometimes you may end up making a friend out of it, but it’s not the main reason people sign up. If he tells you he was only active because he was browsing for buddies, tell him he should delete his app and join a local MeetUp group to have better luck.
  5. Those messages aren’t just because he’s bored. Maybe he’s messaged a few girls and while it doesn’t seem sexual, words were exchanged. He might tell you he was just bored, but in a way, that’s almost like saying he’s bored with you and looking for better conversations elsewhere. Plus, when you’re chatting on a dating site, words can turn sexual in an instant. Those conversations are literally two people waiting for the other one to make a move first.
  6. Remember that actions speak louder than words. This is an important lesson in every relationship. Words are great, but the impact of someone sneakily being active on dating apps is far greater than when they said, “You’re the only one for me, I promise!” Gain a little self-respect and realize that if he cared, he wouldn’t want to make you worried that he’s cheating on you.
  7. If he truly liked you, he’d do anything to hold onto you. The right guy will realize that you’re a prize and want to eliminate any chance that things could be miscommunicated. Having an active dating profile is literally the first and biggest mistake he could make. It takes two seconds to deactivate a profile or delete an app entirely. Talking to women isn’t suspicious in general, but talking to women directly on a dating site is a reason to worry.
  8. If he gets defensive, he’s hiding something. If someone was innocent and signed in by accident before signing out, it’ll be easy to tell. Mistakes do happen sometimes. But if he suddenly accuses you of being too sneaky or gets a little more private with his phone, it’s probably because there’s a lot more on there that he doesn’t want you to see. Even though everyone has a right to privacy, it’s no fun to date someone that you’re constantly suspicious of. Ditch this guy and find someone who won’t be so quick to play games.
  9. He might enjoy the chase more than the romance. Some guys like to impress girls but then get really bored when things are settled and comfortable. That may be why he’s browsing for his next adventure while stating he’s still happy with you. If you’re looking for long-term love, this isn’t the guy.
  10. There’s a chance he’s too afraid to end things with you. Nobody likes to break up, so it’s possible he’s hanging out on dating sites since he knows you’ll notice and hope you’ll be the one to officially call it quits. If things have been mediocre between you two for some time, this is probably the smartest move you can make. Dump him and reactivate your own profile to find someone more worthy of your time.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.