Dating in its own right can be fun and it doesn’t always have to lead to a relationship to be worthwhile. However, if you’re looking for a long-term partner and are done with keeping things casual, here’s how to find a boyfriend — or at least how to make it more likely that your dates lead to something a little more serious.
- Make sure you’re happy on your own. You hear all the time that you can’t love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first (thanks, RuPaul), and that’s totally true. Before you try and find out how to find a boyfriend, you should be figuring out how to find fulfillment and be 100% complete all on your own. Until that’s the case, you’ll struggle to form meaningful relationships with long-term potential.
- Do away with all the distractions. When you’re on a date with a guy, put your phone away and turn it off. You don’t need to check your email or post your plate on Instagram or anything else. Your attention should be on the person in front of you. Scrolling through mobile devices when you’re trying to connect with someone just makes you seem uninterested and uninteresting. Give this guy a few hours of your time so he has a real shot in your book.
- Let your body language do the talking. If you’re interested in the guy, show him by having open body language and throwing a little flirtiness into the conversation. Obviously don’t go so far with this that you’re nearly fawning all over him to the point of embarrassment, but if you want him to want to date you more, you need to show that you’re into dating him. He can’t be your boyfriend if he doesn’t get a romantic vibe from you. (However, one caveat: read the room. If he’s very clearly not interested in you, hold back.)
- Take an active interest in what he has to say. Again, not only do you want to give a guy your full attention, you want to be engaged in what he’s saying. You don’t have to be the world’s #1 Philadelphia Eagles fan or be super into the long-distance running to find him interesting and to want to ask follow-up questions. If this a guy you could see as your boyfriend, you need to get to know him, and that means showing an interest.
- Don’t be afraid to share. By the same token, while you don’t want to blurt out your life story on a first date, you should be open about yourself and who you are and what you want in life. Give him a chance to see the amazing woman you are and he won’t be able to resist wanting you to be his girlfriend.
- Give it time. At the end of the day, figuring out how to find a boyfriend is the easy part. It’s giving things time to progress naturally that’s the tough part, especially when you meet someone you like. Avoid the temptation to rush things and let them run their course. If you’re going to be together potentially forever, there’s plenty of time ahead of you.
