How Having A “Type” Limits Your Chances Of Finding Love

We all have a preferred “type” when it comes to romantic attraction. It could be the bad boy that turns us on, the science geeks or the comedians. Whatever your type is, however, you might want to rethink that, since it seriously limits your search for love to one specific type of person. Whether you realize it or not, having a type seriously holds you back, and you should probably consider abandoning that notion altogether if you want a chance of finding a good relationship.

  1. It’s not based in reality. Far too many women have created a type based on movies and books. Since you’re basing your type on fiction, you’re not going to find your type in reality. Having a type like this just leads to unrealistic expectations that guys can’t fulfill.
  2. Your type hasn’t worked so far. If your type was so right for you, you’d be in a happy relationship by now. How many of your type have you dated? How many breakups have you gone through? Obviously, having a type isn’t working out so well. Maybe try something different next time?
  3. You don’t even notice other guys. It’s like trying to get your guy’s attention during Sports Center. You go out and your focus is narrowed considerably. Other guys aren’t even a tiny blip on your radar. Are they bad guys? You wouldn’t know, because you don’t even know they exist.
  4. Your type keeps getting more specific. When you’re in college, your type might be as general as a guy who wears clean clothes and doesn’t have a hangover 24/7. In your 20s, it gets more specific and suddenly he needs to be 6’4″ with dark hair and have a career in a specific field. It just gets worse in your 30s.
  5. Your friends only recommend your type. You can’t even rely on your friends to break you out of your type dating rut. They try to be good friends by only recommending guys who fit your supposed tastes. And yet they always wonder why none of those setups ever work out.
  6. You don’t know what you want. Often times our types come from some combination of exes or things we wish our exes were. Have you ever stopped to think about what you really want? Odds are, your type doesn’t quite match up.
  7. Your expectations are outdated. Did your type start in high school? Is it based around your first love? It might be time to update your expectations. What you want changes over time, and an outdated type holds you back more than any other.
  8. Your “perfect guy” won’t be an original. No matter how much we might want a leading guy from a Nicolas Sparks movie, we still crave a man who’s completely unique. When you’re searching for a type, you’re not going to find anyone original. You’re too busy trying to find a type instead of a unique man who melts your heart.
  9. You’ll eventually grow out of your type. If you haven’t already realized this, you are going to grow out of your type. It should have already changed as you’ve gotten older. What you wanted in your teens isn’t what you want in your 20s and so on. Why limit yourself when you’ll just grow out of it later on?
  10. A single guy could change your type completely. Taking a chance on that random guy who’s the complete opposite of your type could have you rethinking what your type is. Even if things don’t work out, you’ll come out of the relationship with a new type. If one man can change this, why bother with a type to begin with?
  11. You’re constantly reminded of bad exes. A type leads to a collection of exes that all fit the same mold. As soon as you start dating someone new, all you see is all of your exes. Trust me when I say that doesn’t help a new relationship go very far.
  12. The dating pool is limited. Well, this should be obvious. It’s hard enough to find a decent guy as it is. Why would you want to cut your dating pool so drastically? Who cares if you always date tall guys? Give the short ones a chance. You never know what you might find.

I’ll admit having a type isn’t always a bad thing. Just remember to keep your mind open to possibly dating outside your type sometimes. It never hurts to try something new to spice up your life.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.