How Long Does It Take To Get Comfortable With Your Partner? The Answer Is Surprising

New relationships are exciting and wonderful, but they can also be anxiety-inducing. After all, you’re getting to know another human being up close and personal, and that can be an intense and somewhat scary experience. There’s nothing better than finally feeling comfortable with your partner, but how long does it actually take to get there? Well, that all depends.

Mattress Advisor surveyed 1,000 people in relationships to determine the length of time it takes to get comfortable doing everything from showering with your partner to using the bathroom with the door open and everything in between. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it took women longer than men to do these things without a shred of self-consciousness.

For instance, it took only 3.4 months for guys to wear a retainer in bed with the women they’re dating, while women waited an average of 8.8 months. What the hell? When it comes to farting in bed, men let one rip after an average of 5.3 months while women held it in longer at 8.3 months. Pooping in front of your partner was something men felt comfortable with after 7.7 months but women were behind them at an average of 10.7 months.

Of course, this study had a relatively limited scope since only 1,000 people were surveyed and there are literally millions of people in relationships in the world. It also doesn’t take into account (or at least doesn’t specify) the age of respondents, where they live/what cultural norms are in place where they’re from, and whether or not they’re in heterosexual or homosexual relationships. All of these things could lead to variations in the responses, but this is still a pretty solid litmus to go off.

The bottom line is that couples get comfortable at their own pace, and there are some things you might never feel OK about doing in front of your partner (for goodness’ sake, close the door when you have to do a number two!), but as long as you’re happy together and in a healthy partnership, it’ll all fall into place in the end.

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