How Porn Actually Helped My Sex Life And Can Do The Same For Yours

While porn certainly comes with its fair share of cons, it’s not without its positive aspects either. In my life, porn is a great resource for discovering kinks and sharing ideas with my partner, making my sex life way more enjoyable. It might do the same for yours if you give it a chance.

Sharing porn is a way to communicate about the kind of sex you like. 

Showing porn that you like to your partners can improve your sex life—it certainly has done that for mine. Think of it as another way of whispering your kinks and fantasies in your lover’s ear after a playful romp except instead of describing them, you can just whip out your laptop and show them specific videos or images. A picture’s worth a thousand words, and sexy Tumblr GIFs aren’t too shabby either.

Porn can also clarify what you don’t like.

If you watch porn online at all, you’ve probably had the experience of seeing something alarming or uncomfortable which caused you to hurriedly hit the Back button eight times in a row. Sometimes when you click on something you think will turn you on, it just doesn’t. Maybe it disgusts you, maybe it’s just kind of boring. Either way, it’s good to know what you don’t need to waste your time on.

It can serve as an instruction manual for new techniques.

 Bondage is a good example of this. Maybe you want to try rope play with a partner but it’s super intimidating. Also, the only knot you ever learned was for tying your shoes. Watching people perform safe bondage in porn is a helpful guide for learning the tips and tricks. God knows I’ve spent many a Sunday afternoon trying out knots on my own leg with my laptop open for reference.

It’s a way to explore kinks without having to act them out.

Fantasies seem amazing in your head, but sometimes acting them out is just too weird. Maybe the idea of bondage gets you off but having someone actually tie you up and hang you from the ceiling freaks you the hell out or it’s uncomfortable because it keeps cutting off your circulation and that’s super distracting! Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t get off from a video of someone else doing it.

Your desires are complicated but they’re still valid.

Maybe you have a rape fantasy, but you don’t feel OK about actually roleplaying it which is totally fair—that’s pretty dark stuff. But that fantasy is more common among women than you think. Just because your desires are problematic doesn’t mean you have to bury them. Porn (well, ethical porn) can be another avenue for you to explore your urges in a way that’s safe, consensual, and comfortable.

Being honest about liking porn can reduce tension between partners.

 Talk with your lover(s) about what porn means to you. Liking porn doesn’t mean you don’t love each other or aren’t attracted to each other. Getting your feelings out in the open alleviates the anxiety of keeping secrets. Chances are one or both of you is going to do keep watching porn anyway, or at least wishing you could.

Watching porn alone can be a good outlet for fantasies that aren’t fulfilled by your partner. 

So you’re in an exclusive relationship but your partner doesn’t have all the same kinks as you? That doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker. The key to healthy relationships is knowing what your needs are and knowing which ones your partner can and can’t help you with. Just because your partner isn’t into leather doesn’t mean you can’t still watch leather porn by yourself. Exploring your kinks is usually a better option than depriving yourself and then resenting your partner for restricting your sexuality.

It helps you know what actually turns you on.

Not what you wish you were into, not what you go along with because your partner thinks you like it, but what actually gets you off. When you watch porn, you become very aware of what types of porn you’re into because you have to search for it. You find yourself choosing certain categories and typing in certain search phrases. There’s no denying that you’re into butt stuff if you keep searching for “anal” videos. And that’s cool—just go with it!

Being in touch with yourself makes you a pro at getting yourself off.

 Which is everyone’s goal, right? Also, knowing what your partner likes makes you better at getting them off too! I’m not telling you what types of sex you should or shouldn’t pursue; that’s up to you. It’s just nice to have the self-awareness to make intentional decisions about it, and it feels awesome to have your partner think you’re really really really good at sex.

Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here

Read more:

Share this article now!

Jump to the comments