How To Be Intimate With Your Partner If You’re Quarantining Separately

In some strange ways, this quarantine reminds me of a scene in most animated movies where the land splits open. You’re on one side, and your family is on the other. Everything happened so quickly and while we all tried to prepare, we didn’t know much about the world ahead. If you’re in a relationship with someone you’re not living with, this pandemic is a huge threat. Luckily, there are still ways to keep the intimacy (and your relationship) alive.

  1. Try sexting. Obviously it’s okay if you’re not comfortable doing this, especially if you just started dating this guy right before the shelter in place orders happened. However, if you’re comfortable sending some photos and texts their way, it’ll definitely keep them intrigued. As a blanket note, try not to make your photos identifiable in case the relationship ends up going south.
  2. Watch a movie together. Just because you’re far away doesn’t mean you can’t share an experience together. FaceTime while watching a movie at the same time. Or, use a program online to live stream it together while texting. Use this time to create unique memories with your partner.
  3. Have long talks on the phone. When was the last time you made a phone call to someone who wasn’t your grandmother? Today, everyone’s sending texts. It’s an easy way to communicate with someone who might already be in the middle of something. By making time for a daily or weekly phone call, the two of you are devoting time to each other. Even if your phone calls are just 15 minutes long, it’ll make you feel good to hear their voice.
  4. Send them a letter. Speaking of your grandmother, it’s possible that she’s got some love letters stored away from her childhood. Writing each other letters is romantic. It’s a keepsake that you’ll be able to look back on someday. And if you two are in it for the long run, it’s something that any future children you might have would be absolutely charmed by. By buying stamps, it’s also a great way to support the postal service.
  5. Make them a present. You might not look at a homemade afghan and think “intimacy,” but it’s definitely an intimate gift if someone made it for you. They took the time and energy to create something just for you to feel comfortable. It’s also something that has the potential of lasting forever. Sending gifts you made or homemade cookies their way will let them know you’re thinking about them, which can be incredibly sweet.
  6. Tell them what you miss about them. Maybe it’s the way they hold your hand while out in public or how they stroke your hair before you go to bed. Let them know about the small details that make their presence so important. It’s good for them to hear these things, and know that you’ve been thinking about them. Make them know they’re missed. When the two of you reunite, they’ll know exactly how to celebrate based on comments like these.
  7. Talk about the future. It may be hard since the future is so unpredictable right now, but these orders aren’t forever. Tell them about a trip you’d love to take with them or look up fun apartments to rent together if that’s your next step. Remind them that you plan on being there when these restrictions are lifted. By talking about future plans, you’ll cheer them up and give them a little bit of reassurance.
  8. Play “Truth or Dare” through phone or text. It may seem a little juvenile at first, but it’ll take both of your minds off of the pandemic and the fact that you’re not in the same house together. A game like this is great since it can get you laughing and it can also teach you a lot that you never knew about your partner. If they have a playful spirit, they’ll likely be into the idea.
  9. Mail each other pieces of clothing. It’s incredible how powerful smell can be. Ask them to box up a t-shirt or a hoodie that happens to still have whiffs of their cologne or perfume. You can do the same. It’ll be comforting for both of you to still feel close, especially at night. Even putting his sweatshirt on a stuffed animal may help you get over some of your loneliness.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.