How To Build Emotional Attraction With A Man

What do you do when you’ve met a guy you really like and are really attracted to but haven’t yet built the non-physical closeness that you need in order to feel like a real couple? This list of suggestions will help you solve the problem by giving you some ways to solidify your bond to your new partner. Doing these things will surely help you build emotional attraction and become stronger than ever.

  1. Go on a trip together where neither of you has been. Discovering new places with your new partner is a great way to build a strong emotional bond. The more memories you create together, the more you’ll have in common. Going somewhere new will give you stories to share with your friends about you as a couple, and make you smile when you think of each other. This is a great way to build emotional attraction with a man and strengthen your bond.
  2. Find common interests. You shouldn’t pretend to like the things he likes. This is a common mistake women make and it always ends in confusion and dissatisfaction. Instead, work to find common ground. Try his hobbies and invite him to try yours. If your current interests don’t intersect, try something totally new, like a pottery class or new tv series. Once you find similar interests, you’ll always have something to do together that will bring you closer.
  3. Tell him what you like about him. Everyone likes a compliment. If you’re open about the things you appreciate about him–his kindness, the fact that he’s always reading something new, even the way he dresses–he will feel closer to you. By complimenting him, you’re showing him that you recognize who he is, and by feeling understood, he will feel more emotionally connected with you.
  4. Try non-sexual displays of affection. Sex and flirtation demonstrate how physically attracted you are to each other, but non-sexual displays of affection are even more powerful when it comes to creating an emotional bond. Hold hands in public, cuddle on the sofa while you watch a film, or hug each other for no reason. The more you show your care and attention through non-sexual touch, the more you will both build and feel your emotional attraction.
  5. Cook a meal together. Think of your most vivid memories from childhood. Some of them probably revolve around family meals or the taste and smell of your favorite childhood food. Cooking together creates wholesome, cozy memories together. It’s also time spent away from screens and outside distractions, which have been proven to negatively impact relationships. Cooking together requires collaboration, shared creativity, and a sense of shared accomplishment.
  6. Do something exciting together. Studies show that sharing an extraordinary experience with someone you don’t know well creates a close bond. This is partly due to the intensity of the experience itself, and partly due to the fact that experiencing something exciting takes your focus away from the awkwardness of being with someone new. Do something bold and maybe even a little scary with the guy you like, and you’ll come away feeling like your emotional bond has been fast-tracked.
  7. Make sure you’re sharing personal information equally. It can be difficult to know how much to share about yourself with someone new. A good rule of thumb is to balance your openness with theirs. Talking too much about yourself can make the other person feel burdened and ignored, while sharing too little may make them feel shut out. Share equally, and you’ll both feel heard and trusted.
  8. Keep your phone out of it. It’s a fact: phones are terrible for relationships. This is especially true for new couples, where the focus should be on getting to know each other, not scrolling through photos of other people. Being on your phone too much will make your partner feel alienated and inadequate. It will also diminish the quality of your time together because you will constantly be distracted. In order to build emotional attraction, you have to be focused on each other.
  9. Be a good listener. One of the most important factors in solidifying an emotional bond is trust. You have to trust the person you’re with in order to be comfortable with vulnerability. To do this, you both have to feel heard. Being a good listener isn’t just about staying quiet while the other person talks. It’s also about remembering what they say and bringing it up again later. If you can do this with each other, your emotional bond will take care of itself.
  10. Choose an emotionally available man. You can do everything right and still run into an emotional wall with someone. None of the suggestions in this list will be of any use to you if you try to build a relationship with someone who is not willing to be open. If you’ve fallen for an emotionally unavailable person, focus on getting out of your attachment to him rather than trying to get him to build an attachment with you. You can’t change him. You deserve better.
Rose Nolan is a writer and editor from Austin, TX who focuses on all things female and fabulous. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Theater from the University of Surrey and a Master's Degree in Law from the University of Law. She’s been writing professional since 2015 and, in addition to her work for Bolde, she’s also written for Ranker and Mashed. She's published articles on topics ranging from travel, higher education, women's lifestyle, law, food, celebrities, and more.