We all like to feel like the star of our own lives, but sometimes that feeling can get a little out of hand. If you find yourself constantly putting your needs first, expecting special treatment, or struggling to empathize with other people, you might be dealing with a case of “Main Character Syndrome.” Don’t worry, it’s fixable! Here’s how to dial down that main character energy and build stronger relationships.
1. Recognize the signs.
The first step towards changing your behavior is becoming aware of it. Do you find yourself interrupting people all the time, talking mostly about yourself, or feeling like the rules don’t always apply to you? That’s your main character flag waving. Pay attention to how others react to you. Annoyed sighs, people seeming disengaged, or friends gently suggesting you take it down a notch are signs you might need to adjust.
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2. Listen more, talk less (at least for a while).
Instead of being anxious for your turn to speak, truly listen to what other people have to say. Ask questions, make eye contact, and reflect back their points to show you’re engaged. Remember, every conversation isn’t a performance with you as the star. Let others shine by giving them your full attention and valuing their contributions.
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3. Embrace the word “no.”
Main character energy often comes with a sense of entitlement. It’s okay not to get your way sometimes! Saying “no” to requests helps you set healthy boundaries and shows that you value your time. It also teaches you to accept that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Saying “no” to something small opens the door to saying “yes” to things that are truly important to you.
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4. Be happy for other people.
Feeling threatened or jealous of other people’s accomplishments is a sign of Main Character Syndrome. Instead of focusing on being the best, learn to be happy for those around you. Genuine enthusiasm for others’ wins makes you a more supportive friend, partner, and colleague, and strengthens your relationships.
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5. Challenge your perspective.
Try to see situations from other people’s POV, even if you don’t agree with those views. Before getting upset about something, ask yourself, “How would I feel if I were in their shoes?” or “Is my reaction reasonable?” Developing empathy helps curb those “It’s all about me” tendencies and makes you a more considerate person overall.
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6. Find happiness in supporting roles.
Not every situation requires you to be the lead. Learn to enjoy being part of a team without needing to have the spotlight. Step back and let other people lead every once in a while. You might be surprised by how fulfilling it feels to contribute to something bigger than yourself and make someone else feel like a star.
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7. Volunteer your time.
One of the best ways to ditch the “me first” mentality is to help others. Volunteer at a local charity or find ways to give back to your community. Seeing the struggles and needs of others will help put your own problems into perspective and foster gratitude for what you have.
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8. Apologize when you mess up.
Main characters often think they’re always in the right. Owning your mistakes shows maturity and consideration for others. A sincere “I’m sorry” goes a long way in mending fences. Nobody’s perfect. Learning to admit your faults makes you more approachable and builds stronger, more honest relationships.
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9. Don’t take things personally.
Main Character Syndrome can make every minor inconvenience or criticism feel like a major attack on your worth. Remember, not everything is about you. Learn to separate constructive feedback from personal insults. The ability to take criticism in stride propels you forward rather than keeping you stuck.
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10. Get some therapy if needed.
If unhealthy patterns are deeply ingrained, individual therapy can help you pinpoint the root and learn coping mechanisms. A therapist provides a safe space to explore your behaviors without judgment. They can help you understand why you feel the need to be the center of attention and offer tailored strategies for building healthier relationships.
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11. Be a bit more grateful.
Having a sense of entitlement makes it hard to feel grateful. Take time each day to reflect on the positive things in your life, big and small. A gratitude journal is a great tool for this. Focusing on what you have rather than what you lack fosters contentment and helps combat that “the world owes me” mentality.
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12. Watch out for the humblebrag.
Main Character Syndrome sometimes disguises itself as fake humility. Statements like, “I’m so bad at public speaking” before nailing a presentation are thinly veiled attempts at seeking praise. Be proud of your accomplishments! But avoid fishing for compliments or trying to make your successes seem easy when others might be struggling.
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13. Be patient with yourself.
Changing deeply rooted habits takes time. Don’t get discouraged if you slip into old patterns occasionally. Just keep practicing self-awareness and compassionately course-correct. Every small step towards greater empathy and consideration makes you a better friend, partner, and member of your community.
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14. Surround yourself with empathetic people.
The company you keep matters. Seek out friends who are genuinely kind, supportive, and call you out when your ego gets out of hand. These people provide a safe space for growth and remind you that true connection is about reciprocity, not just being the star of the show.
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15. Remember, you’re not alone
Main Character Syndrome is more common than you think, especially in an online world that rewards self-promotion. The fact that you want to change this behavior is a massive step! Be kind to yourself as you work towards greater empathy and stronger relationships.
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