If you’re chatting to someone and can feel your life force being sucked out of you, chances are you’re dealing with a self-centered person. Don’t be surprised if you leave the chat feeling like you haven’t even had a real conversation, because you totally haven’t. You’ve had to listen to them babble on for hours as though you weren’t even there! Ugh. Here are 11 ways that self-centered people make conversations all about them.
1. They Only Want To Talk About Themselves.
Self-centered people are addicted to the spotlight. If the conversation veers off them for a sec, they’ll panic and try to bring it back to them. Geez, it’s crazy. So, if you start talking about your first date, they’ll interject and try to tell you about the great first date they had six months ago, before you’ve even finished your story. It’s like your stories don’t matter.
2. They’re Chronic One-Uppers.
So, while you’re talking about your date or the fight you had with a friend, this person will try to give you a more dramatic/nerve-wrecking/unbelievable story to one-up you. They always seem to do this! It’s as though they think they’re the best or are leading the most fascinating lives and they have to show it whenever they can during conversations. It’s maddening!
3. They Exit Online Chats.
When you’re chatting with a self-centered person, like on WhatsApp or Meta, you might find that they go AWOL during the conversation. This might happen after they ask you how you’ve been. What the heck? They’ll throw the question out there and disappear without responding to you. It’s like they’re hunting for info but they’re actually going through the motions of what they think you want them to say. They don’t care about your answer.
4. They Shut Down When You Talk.
Although they seem to come alive when they talk about themselves, when you talk about yourself they seem to shut down. Maybe they’re distracted or playing with their hair or looking bored. Like, what? They can’t handle not being the center of attention. In extreme cases, you might notice them becoming moody or sulky. So ridiculous. If you’re sick of ending up with people like this in your romantic relationships, let our sister site, Sweetn, offer some great tips and tricks for changing the dynamics in your love life.
5. They Don’t Notice Body Language Cues.
Since a self-centered person only cares about themselves, they’re not going to pay attention to the things you say or don’t say during conversation. So, they won’t notice that you’re fidgeting because you’re nervous or that you’re taking deep breaths to calm yourself down because this person’s driving you crazy. They’re in their own world and there’s no room for anyone else.
6. They Resurface When They Need Something.
When the person needs you, they’ll be super interested in replying to your texts and actually engaging with you. It’s so convenient! When they get what they want, they’ll disappear again or only care about talking about themselves, with no regard for you. It’s clear that they’re fake and just want to use people for attention or their own gain.
7. They Don’t Ask You Any Questions.
During a conversation, you’ll ask the person questions and follow-up questions. This shows you’re interested in what they have to say. But, they don’t do this in return. They won’t ask you questions about your life or the stressful day you had, and they certainly won’t ask you any follow-ups. Conversations with them are always one-sided.
8. They’re Conversational Bashers.
A conversational basher will bash into what you’re saying and interrupt you all the time. There you were, talking about the jerk you went on a date with, and bam! The person’s cutting into you and disregarding everything you’re saying. Or, you’re telling them about your horrible headache, and the person’s quick to tell you about their day. Wow. What a piece of work.
9. They Put Down Your Experiences.
A self-centered person doesn’t just one-up you, but they put down your experiences. If you tell them about your day from hell, they’ll act like what you went through is NBD. This makes you feel like you’re not being seen or heard by this person, and they don’t care about your emotions. They seriously lack empathy.
10. But, Their Experiences Matter More.
Although they like to put down what you’re feeling or experiencing, they’ll expect you to give them sympathy and kindness when hearing about their tragic stories. When they go through a toxic breakup, they’ll act like it was the worst breakup in history. Or, when they have a fender bender, they’ll expect you to talk to them about it for hours. Um, where were they when you needed attention?
11. They Make Bigger Issues About Themselves.
During conversation, maybe you’re talking to the person about something you saw in the news, like upcoming heavy rainstorms or power crises, and they’re quick to make it all about them. So, they might talk about how the rainstorms are going to ruin their upcoming party, without any thought to other people and the more serious things they’re going through. Wow!
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