Getting stood up sucks. It’s not just the emotional dump you have to deal with after being stood up, but it’s also the stress of being stood up when you’re still at the location where the date was supposed to happen. Waiting around is awkward AF. But, instead of feeling silly or like everyone’s watching you, there are better ways to deal and not let the person who stood you up destroy your entire evening. Here are 11 no-nonsense tips for dealing with being stood up.
1. Try To Act Cool.
You’ve been sitting at the restaurant for 20 minutes and the waitstaff keeps asking you if you want anything. Eek. Your date is really late and hasn’t had the decency to let you know what’s going on. Instead of freaking out, try to stay zen. Order a glass of wine and whip out your phone so you can catch up on emails or texts. This gives you something to do while preventing you from stressing that other people are looking at you.
2. Distract Yourself.
If it feels weird to sit at the table, read a book on your Kindle (if you happened to pack it in your bag) or strike up a conversation with the waiter or someone at another table. If you’re really struggling, why not grab a snack? It doesn’t have to suck to eat a meal on your own – it’s empowering and people do it all the time.
3. Set A Deadline For How Long You’ll Wait.
One of the things you have to decide is how long you’ll wait: 30 minutes? An hour? After waiting around for one hour without hearing anything, you have every right to get up and leave. You’ve wasted enough time on this person, who doesn’t have the decency to cancel or take a rain-check.
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5. Dial Your Best Mate.
When you realize it’s late and your date isn’t coming, you’ll want to chat or vent to someone about it. Phone your bestie so you can analyze the situation. It helps to have an empathetic ear to listen and she might also give you a pep talk to boost your spirts. And, being on the phone gives you a clever way to make your exit. You can mouth to the waiter that you need the bill because you’ve got to run
6. Consider Checking In With Your Date.
You might want to check in with your date to see what happened or to tell them that you’ve got to leave the restaurant. While you might dislike this idea, at this point you still don’t know the reason why your date bounced. Maybe they had an emergency or got into a car accident. But, the key is to text them when you’re leaving the restaurant, not when you’re waiting around. The last thing you need is to wait around longer for someone to reply. You can do that at home.
7. Rate Their Reply.
If the person gets in touch, apologizes, and has a legit excuse for why they didn’t pitch, you might decide to reply. But here’s a tip: only continue chatting to them if you’re keen to give them another chance and if you’re sure you’re not going to get into this sucky situation again. Can you trust them, or are they just telling you what they think you want to hear?
8. Keep Yourself Calm.
If you’re angry and the person gets in touch with you, don’t react emotionally. Yes, you want to tell the person to screw themselves, but you don’t want to give them the satisfaction that they ruined your night, okay? Rather stay calm and logical. Suss out what they have to say, but remember: you don’t have to reply if you don’t want to.
9. Block Their Number.
If the person never contacts you, even after you check in to see why they haven’t pitched, you have every right to block their number and forget about this whole situation. In a situation where you’re made to feel helpless, it can be empowering to make a decision like blocking someone on all platforms. Get your power back! Do you really need to hear from them again? Probably not.
10. Don’t Go Straight Home.
When walking away from the date location and heading to your car, you might think you should just go home, eat cold pizza leftovers in bed, and go to sleep. While that’s cool, it might be better to go out and have fun so your night’s not tanked. Hit a club opening across town or visit a friend for dinner. Do something that will make you feel good again.
11. Avoid Spiraling.
Getting stood up is a rejection. It’s not easy to process and can cause a blow to your self-confidence. Listen, it’s easy to let your thoughts spiral. You might start thinking that you’re not worthy of love and you’ll never find anyone and you’ll be alone forever. Woah! Hold up! Try to see this experience as a once-off instead of as the start of a morbid dating pattern. Not everyone you date is going to be terrible. Promise.
12. Don’t Let It Define You.
Although getting stood up can make you feel worthless, it shouldn’t define you. It’s really not about you at all – it’s about the person having their own messed-up issues that they need to work on. Besides, it’s worth bearing in mind that going through this could actually be a blessing in disguise. Clearly, the person isn’t good enough for you – be glad they showed you proof of this before you became invested in them.
