How To Fix A Dry Text Conversation That’s Boring You To Tears

You’ve matched with someone great on a dating app and you start chatting. You have tons in common and really hit it off… and then things start to go downhill. You can’t help but notice that your conversation seems a bit blah and boring. Things just aren’t progressing the way you think they should be and frankly, you’re about to give up altogether. Don’t throw in the towel just yet! Here’s how to fix and save a dry text conversation from going off the rails completely.

What is a dry texting conversation?

Simply put, it’s a conversion happening on a dating app, in your social media DMs, or in your texting inbox that’s boring you (and them) to tears. No one is saying all that much, nothing is flowing, and you feel like you really don’t know what to say even though you should have tons to talk about. It seems like the other person just isn’t engaged in the conversation at all and like they’d rather be doing anything else than talking to you.

Some typical characteristics of a dry texting conversation are:

  • Sending one-word messages
  • Ignoring certain things they say/pics they send in their messages
  • Leaving them on read for days or even weeks
  • Never texting first
  • Never asking them anything about themself
  • Not showing interest in moving beyond texting

In other words, it’s exactly the kind of chat you don’t really want to continue or be involved in. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be this way. There are some things you can do to try and turn your chat around.

How to fix a dry text conversation

  1. Revisit an old conversational thread. Think of a time when the conversation was really good between you. What were you talking about? Whatever topics gave you both verbal diarrhea are ones worth revisiting since you know it’s possible to pique their interest in this way.
  2. Pay them a compliment. Flattery will get you everywhere, as they say. One of the best ways to fix a dry text conversation is to give the other person a bit of an ego boost. After all, maybe things have only gone downhill because they’re not sure how you feel about them. By mentioning something you appreciate about them, they might re-engage.
  3. Ask their opinion on something. This will make them feel important and valued, especially if you’re very headstrong and don’t take advice often. Ask them what they think you should do about a given situation in your life. Or, if there’s nothing really going on with you, ask about a major story that’s in the news. You never know what conversation might result. However, be careful — if you’re on opposite ends of the political or religious spectrum, things could get dicey.
  4. Recommend something cool you think they’d like. If you recently discovered a band or a TV show you think they’d be interested in, tell them. You can let them know what it is that’s so great about your recommendation and they might even ask you some questions. Maybe you can even make plans to go to a concert or have a Netflix marathon together.
  5. Ask if they’re up for a call/FaceTime chat. Maybe the conversation is so dry because it’s just words on a screen, so you can fix it by switching mediums. Ask if they want to chat on the phone or do a quick FaceTime call. Actually hearing each other’s voices and seeing each other’s faces might transform things.
  6. Reminisce on an inside joke you share. This will not only make the conversation a bit more exciting but it should remind them how much they like you/how much fun you have together. That should get them to want to be more engaged in the conversation!
  7. Set up a little mystery. A little cliffhanger can go a long way. Set up a story that will make them pay attention and forces them to ask what happened. Something like, “You’ll never guess who I saw at the coffee shop this morning!” or “You won’t believe what went down at work today” should do the trick.
  8. Tell them an interesting story. It doesn’t necessarily need to be mysterious to be worth telling. If something interesting happened to you at any point (which is likely the case), why not share it? The more random, but better — everyone loves a bit of irreverence every once in a while, right?
  9. Be okay with letting it die out. Sometimes you can’t fix a dry text conversation because things have taken their natural course, at least for now. If it’s really not going anywhere even after you’ve tried to kickstart the chat again, you have to be okay with letting it go for now. You can always chat again in a couple of days!

How to not be dry over text

  1. Send a text first sometimes. It’s not all up to your texting partner to keep things going. You have to do your part too. That means being cool with sending a message first occasionally. Don’t always wait for them to reach out to you. If you want to talk to them, reach out.
  2. Make your messages thoughtful and complete. “Hey, what’s up?” may seem like the simplest way to start a conversation, but it’s certainly not the most effective. You can’t expect someone to be engaged or interested in talking to you when that’s the kind of starters you’re working with.
  3. Don’t take hours or days to respond. No one likes being left on read. It’s rude, disrespectful, and kind of annoying. It’s cool if you’re busy, of course — you shouldn’t have to live on your phone — but it takes five seconds to send a message to say you’re busy but you’ll be in touch.
  4. Remember the things they say so you can bring them up. Pay attention to their hobbies, interests, and facts about their life. They can very much come in handy when you need some conversational topics or want to show you’re into them. For instance, if they tell you their mom was ill, you might ask them in a week or so how she’s doing. It shows you care enough about them to follow up.
  5. Include some emojis. Everyone loves emojis. While your conversation shouldn’t be full of them, throwing a few in here or there will fix a dry text conversation (or keep it from becoming dry to begin with).
  6. Show off your sense of humor. You’re hilarious, so show it. Send some memes, tell a few jokes (cheesy ones work too!), and just be your naturally hilarious self. Humor is incredibly attractive and also keeps people’s attention.
  7. Don’t take things too seriously. At the end of the day, it’s just a text. There’s no need to overthink things or stress so much about it that you end up being weird or awkward. Just be yourself, show your interest, and be engaged. It really is that simple.
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill