Everyone loves a friends-to-lovers saga, but it’s not fun when you have real feelings for one of your guy friends but you’re afraid that he’s already locked you away in the friend zone with no hope of taking your relationship to the next level. However, just because he’s always viewed you as a buddy doesn’t mean all hope is lost at having something more with him. Here are few tips on how you can get out of the friend zone and hopefully on your way to romance.
- Make subtle hints. You might feel ready to just blurt out your feelings to him but this isn’t always the best approach. Blindsiding him with emotions that he might not be ready to declare back to you yet could have the opposite effect of what you want. Consider that he might be feeling the same way as you but he’s nervous to come forward and tell you. Or, he might still be trying to decide how he feels. Sometimes the best thing that you can do is start out slow with subtle hints and flirtations that show him that you view him as more than just one of your bros.
- Make him miss you. Playing hard to get works in most situations and this one is no different. If he’s used to seeing you every day or close to it, he hasn’t had time to miss you and think about you in a different way than he has in the past. Give him some space and spend time with your other friends for a bit. You don’t have to ignore him, just busy yourself with other things and let him come to you. Not only will he start vying for your attention but it’ll give him time to start seeing you in a different light, possibly viewing you as more than a friend.
- Test his feelings. If you’re unsure if he could see you as more than a friend, sometimes a little experiment holds all the answers for you. Spend some time with your other guy friends, maybe some that you haven’t hung out with in a while, and see how he reacts. If he seems to be jealous or particularly interested in what you’re doing and where you’re going, it’s a pretty good indication that he has feelings for you. Once his jealousy is ignited, it’s also possible it will give him the push that he needs to try to take things with you to the next level.
- Dress yourself up. Getting yourself dolled up before a hang-out is a fun, sweet little way to show a guy how you feel. It’s important to always be yourself but when you make it pretty obvious that you put some effort into your appearance (i.e. doing your makeup or hair or wearing a cute dress), it can make it clear to your guy friends that you want him to notice your appearance and you want him to think that you look good. This might be the green light that he needs to move forward with you beyond friendship.
- Send him flirty texts. In-person flirting can sometimes be intimidating and feel awkward so, if you’re nervous to start, trying texting first. Just start peppering in little, flirty nudges in your normal day-to-day banter and see how he reacts. Texting also gives you a good way to gauge his feelings without coming on too strong. If he doesn’t respond well or at all, you’ll know to take things slow or pause to regroup and figure out how he feels. If he seems to play back to you, you’ll know it’s okay to keep the fun going.
- Stop letting him treat you like one of the guys. If every single interaction that takes place between the two of you is strictly platonic without even a little wiggle room for something more, there won’t be any chance of a potential relationship taking off. If he treats you like one of the guys because that’s how it’s always been, make him change it up! Start doing little things that make him see you differently. Make him pick you up and drop you off when you hang out. Suggest activities other than what you normally do, and start sharing more of your emotions and inner thoughts with him. If you give him the opportunity to start seeing you as more than a friend, you’ll be amazed how quickly things will start to change.
- Spend time one-on-one. You might be used to hanging out with him with a group of people but if you want him to start seeing you as more than a friend, you’re going to have to get him alone at some point. Even if it’s something totally casual, spending time alone gives you time to get closer to him. When it’s just the two of you, alone, sparks might start to fly.
- Get deep with him. One of the biggest things that separates a girlfriend from a friend who’s a girl is a deep, emotional connection. A lot of guys only feel comfortable sharing their emotions and allowing themselves to feel vulnerable with a romantic partner. If you want him to realize that he could feel comfortable getting deep with you, start sharing your feelings with him. Even if it feels scary, you can trust that he’ll be supportive no matter what, and if it allows him to get deeper with you too, it’ll only bring the two of you closer.
- Just go for it! It sounds crazy but sometimes you just have to take a chance and put yourself out there! Sure, all of the above steps can be taken if you’re a ‘stick your toe in the water before you jump in’ type of person or if the idea of telling him how you feel makes you nervous but if you want to skip all of that and get to the point, just do it. Trust your gut and if your gut is saying that you need to let him know, what’s stopping you? Sure, he could not feel the same or be unsure but if he’s a true friend, he won’t let it ruin the relationship that you already have and you never know, he may have been secretly pining for you all along afraid to make the first move himself! Either way, what have you got to lose?