How To Get Your Emotional Needs Met In A Relationship

Being in a relationship with someone you love is a wonderful thing, but only if your emotional needs are being met. It’s the only way you can feel connected, secure, and content in your partnership. However, knowing what it is you need and how to express that is a whole other thing. Read on to find out what most people consider emotional necessities when coupled up and how to get them.

What are examples of emotional needs in a relationship?

Emotional needs refer to the desires and requirements that individuals have in relationships that help them feel fulfilled, happy, and supported. While the things you want and need in a relationship to feel fulfilled and happy will be depend on who you are as a person, there are some needs pretty much all people have.

  1. Love and affection. Feeling loved and appreciated by your partner is a must. You need physical touch, verbal affirmations, and acts of kindness to feel valued and cherished. After all, no one wants to be with someone who takes them for granted or seems like they don’t care.
  2. Trust and security. Emotional safety is crucial in a relationship. You need to know that you can trust your partner with your feelings, thoughts, and vulnerabilities without fear of judgment or rejection. You also need to be able to trust them to stay faithful to you and to never intentionally hurt you. That’s the bare minimum.
  3. Direct and honest communication. Good communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. You need to be able to express yourself freely, listen actively, and resolve conflicts effectively to feel heard and understood. Passive-aggressiveness and beating around the bush should not be a part of any mature, adult realtionship.
  4. Respect and validation. Feeling respected and valued by your partner is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship. You need to feel that their opinions, ideas, and boundaries are being heard and respected.
  5. Emotional support. This is one of the most basic emotional needs in a relationship. People need emotional support from their partners when they are going through challenging times. You need someone to listen, offer encouragement, and provide comfort and reassurance when you’re struggling. There’s nothing worse than feeling alone when you have a partner who should be by your side.
  6. Quality time. Spending quality time together is an emotional need for most people. You need to feel connected and engaged with your partner and to have fun, meaningful experiences together. Otherwise, what’s the point? If you don’t like being together, you shouldn’t be together. It sucks, but it’s as simple as that.
  7. Physical Intimacy. We’re talking about sex here. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that sex is important. Who doesn’t want to feel desired, loved, and connected through touch, closeness, and sexual expression? Sure, you don’t need to be going at it like rabbits 24/7, but sex is what separates romantic relationships from platonic ones. It’s a way to connect with your partner on a deeper level, and it’s vital.

How can you ensure your emotional needs are met in a relationship?

  1. Know what your emotional needs actually are in the relationship. You can’t get what you need if you don’t know what that is. Take time to reflect on what you need from your partner to feel loved, happy, and fulfilled. Once you know, you can then express that to your partner.
  2. Communicate your needs. Be clear and direct about your emotional needs with your partner. Don’t expect them to guess or read your mind. Use “I” statements to express your needs, such as “I need more quality time with you” or “I feel hurt when you don’t listen to me.” They’re not a mind-reader, so you’ll need to be direct.
  3. Be open to compromise. Remember that your partner has emotional needs too. Not only that, but they may not always align perfectly with yours. Be open to finding a compromise that works for both of you. After all, there are two people in the relationship. Both of you should be happy with how things are going.
  4. Practice active listening. When your partner expresses their emotional needs, make an effort to listen actively and empathetically. Repeat back what you heard to ensure you understand their needs and feelings. Ensure they’re able to offer you the same in return. They should never brush your needs under the carpet or write them off as unimportant.
  5. Don’t forget about self-care. Taking care of your own emotional well-being is crucial to having healthy relationships. Make sure to prioritize self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends and family. Your partner can’t meet all of your emotional needs in the relationship. You have to do things for yourself, too.
  6. Get outside help if you need it. If you are struggling to meet your emotional needs in your relationship, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide support and guidance for navigating relationship challenges and improving communication.

What can you do if your partner isn’t meeting them?

If your partner isn’t meeting your emotional needs, it’s important to take action to address the issue. Here are some steps you can take:

  1. Let your partner know how you’re feeling. Talk to your partner about your feelings and needs. Be specific about what you need from them and how you feel when those needs are not being met. You can’t get mad at someone for not giving you what you need if you’ve never told them. It’d be nice if people could anticipate your needs, but life doesn’t work like that.
  2. Listen to their perspective. It’s important to listen to your partner’s perspective as well. They may not be aware of your needs or may have their own challenges in meeting them. Listen with an open mind and seek to understand their point of view. Again, there are two people in the relationship.
  3. Work together to find a solution. Once you’ve figured out what the problem is and shared your concerns, work together to find a solution. Brainstorm ways to get your needs met together. Maybe that means setting aside time for quality conversations, taking a class together, or seeking couples therapy. Only you know what will work for your individual relationship.
  4. Consider seeking professional help. If you’re struggling to resolve the issue on your own, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and support for improving communication and meeting each other’s emotional needs.
  5. Take care of yourself. It’s important to prioritize your own emotional well-being as well. Again, it’s not all down to your partner to make sure you’re 100% okay. Yes, there ae certain things they need to do, but you’re responsible for yourself, too.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia