Sex is easily the most important thing in a relationship. Before you shake your head and tell me I’m crazy, hear me out. Sex is more than an act — it’s a symbol of letting someone get close to us on the deepest, most intimate level possible. Here’s why it’s so important:
- It doesn’t get more intimate than sex. Sex is the closest you can get with someone, since you’re literally being joined, more or less, with that other person. Your bodies are entwined, you can hear them breathe, and you know their deepest desires.
- It requires sincere communication. In order to get what you need out of sex, or to give your partner what he needs, you have to honestly communicate about things that could potentially be awkward. You open yourself up in ways you don’t do otherwise, and that says a lot about your relationship if you’re comfortable doing so.
- It doesn’t work without trust.The biggest reason I think sex matters the most in a relationship is the levels of trust it requires. You’re trusting someone to see your entire body and not judge, trusting them to be a selfless lover, trusting them to be faithful, and trusting them to do the right thing if any consequences may arise.
- It can ruin a relationship. Sex is one of the best and one of the most dangerous aspects of a relationship. Because it’s so open and honest, it can also be destructive. If one partner stops wanting the other, or if someone cheats, relationships are usually over.
- It teaches you a lot about your partner. During sex, we learn a lot about our partner that we don’t see in normal activities. They pay more attention to us, sometimes they’re animalistic and other times tender and romantic. These are sides of him we don’t see normally and it’s important to know that those private sides of him do exist.
- It’s a powerful weapon that should be used properly. Women who withhold sex as a punishment are hurting themselves, their relationships, and whatever women come after them in his life. Sex isn’t a tool to leverage when you need something in your relationship, and yet it often becomes that. No other part of a relationship holds that kind of power and has the same devastating consequences.
- It takes work to keep it good and consistent. The further we get into our relationships, the more comfortable we get. Sex often slips through the cracks of our busy lives. It takes a lot of work to make the time and effort to keep it going — but it proves you and your partner are committed to keeping your relationship strong. That’s powerful stuff.
- It’s a big responsibility. Aside from being a lot of fun, sex is a big responsibility. Even if you’re careful, pregnancy can happen. Knowing that you and your partner are prepared to handle the possible outcome in an agreed upon way is a big responsibility and can be stressful for even the strongest of relationships. What other aspect of your relationship comes with that kind of intensity?
- It requires both of you stay engaged the entire time. Nothing else in a relationship really requires this, even when you’re “talking” one of you can be tuning out. In order for sex to be good, you both have to actively participate, and that connects you and your partner in ways nothing else can.
