It started out as harmless fun. All you wanted to do was hook up and then go home to sleep in your own bed, but something happened, and now you actually like this guy and want more. The question is, how can you suddenly upgrade yourself from just a hookup to his girlfriend? With a little patience, it’s not that hard, especially if he’s secretly into you, too.
While some girlfriends have found themselves downgraded to hookups, you’re ready to go in the opposite direction. You’re not needy and you have your own life. You’re just ready to share that life with him beyond just some late night fun.
Make him miss you.
The more you come running when he calls or hang out where you’ll know he’ll be, the more needy you’ll seem. Instead, avoid him sometimes. If you both regularly hang out at the same places, change your routine. When you’re not around as much, he’ll begin to miss you and be more eager to see you.
Step up your texting game.
You might think it’s cute to text him when you barely know how to make your phone work, but all that tells him is you’re a drunken party girl. He’s not going to take you seriously. Instead, try sending him sober texts to get together beyond hooking up.
Ask him out on an actual date.
Okay, so this should be obvious. You don’t have to wait for him to make the first move. If you’re adult enough to hookup, you’re adult enough to ask out a guy. After you’re done one night, ask him if he’d like to get dinner sometime. If you get the panicked look, tell him it’s just as friends. You can always reel him in later.
Show him you’re more than a hot body.
He’s already seen some of your assets, now it’s time to show him you have personality, too. Make jokes, flirt and just have fun. Guys have a hard time resisting a sexy woman with a killer personality. Let him get to know who you are beyond a hot body. It’s hard to stay a hookup when he knows you’re so much more.
Make a real connection.
There aren’t any rules that say you’re not allowed to talk during a hookup. Go ahead and talk to him. Find out what he likes to do when he’s not in between the sheets with you. He’ll never see you as more than a hookup if you never talk to him. Get him talking and build a friendship. Before you know it, he’ll want a relationship.
Find out if he’s open to a relationship.
Ask him if he’s hooking up because he’s looking for a relationship or just to have fun. You might be surprised how many guys are just hooking up because they’ve given up on finding something more stable. You might find out that he’s looking for more and that’s your chance to ask him out.
Ask him why he’s single.
You should be willing to share your own reasons for this, too. This is a good way to discover if he even wants to date right now or if it’s a bad time for him. Remember to respect his choice if he’s honestly not ready to be with anyone right now, and respect yourself enough to move on before you get seriously hurt.
Don’t act like his wife when you’re not even his girlfriend.
Most guys hate nagging, needy women. They also hate being around bitchy women. While we all have those times, now is the time to avoid being any of those stereotypes. Show off your happier personality and don’t nag him. It might take several tries to get him talking. Texting him 20 times in a row with various questions or begging him to take you out isn’t going to help you win him over.
Call him out on his stuff.
Does he get up and leave without so much as a thank you when he’s done? Don’t let him get away with it. Even hookups deserve respect. Asserting yourself makes a guy see you as a confident, attractive woman and not a quick way to relieve stress. When he respects you, he can’t help but see you as a potential girlfriend.
Don’t base your life around him.
Guys are usually more attracted to what they think they can’t have. If he suggests hooking up, turn him down. Tell him you’re busy or already have plans with someone else. This makes him jealous, shows him you have a life outside of him and makes him want you even more. Obviously you shouldn’t go too far with this, or it could completely backfire.
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