Are you ready to meet your partner’s parents? If your relationship has become more serious, it’s time to take the big step of being introduced to the family Before you do, you’ll want to make sure you’re prepared to make the best possible impression on them, especially since you only get one chance to do this! No pressure! Here are 16 effective tips to help you out.
1. Learn a bit about them beforehand.
Do a bit of homework! Ask your partner for a bit of help to find out what their parents like and don’t like and get a bit of background info on their lives. This can help you to have conversation starters handy, especially when it comes to talking about your interests and hobbies, so you’ll sail through those awkward silences.
2. Bring a gift.
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While you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard by buying expensive gifts or offend the parents by bringing food if they’re cooking, it’s thoughtful to bring a small gift, such as a bouquet of flowers (just check that they’re not allergic!) or a box of chocolates (as long as they eat it!). It’s a small gesture that shows you want to put your best foot forward.
3. Pay them compliments.
Show that you’re kind and thoughtful by complimenting them. Maybe your partner’s mom is wearing beautiful earrings or his dad has a really nicesweater on. Just don’t go overboard because you end up coming across as fake and try-hard. Keep it simple and most importantly, be genuine.
4. Ask them questions and then follow up.
Take an interest in your partner’s parents by asking them about themselves, their work, their hobbies, etc. To show you’re engaged in the chat and interested in what they have to say, ask them follow-up questions. This proves that you’re not just being polite — you actually care about getting to know them better!
5. Find some shared interests.
Asking your partner’s parents lots of questions can help you to find some shared interests and common ground, which will help you connect. This could even lead to future outings together — maybe you can check out to the local gardening center if you love gardening or a nearby lake if you love fishing.
6. Respect the house rules.
Before meeting your partner’s family, make sure you check in with your partner about any house rules that they follow. For example, do they follow certain traditions that you should know about? Don’t get caught off guard, especially if your partner is family-oriented and would be offended by your faux pas.
7. Show off your personality in small doses.
While you want to be yourself when meeting your partner’s parents, you shouldn’t go over the top. For example, if you’re naturally funny, feel free to make some light jokes, but don’t feel like you’re a stand-up comedian doing a gig. You’re already at an advantage because they know your partner loves you. You don’t have to try too hard to make them like you too (and doing so will likely backfire).
8. Offer to help them.
If you’re going to your partner’s parents’ house for coffee or dinner, offer to help them by cleaning up afterward so you can do your part. Even if they say it’s not necessary, it’s still good to ask as it’ll show them that you’re thoughtful. They won’t respect you to start doing chores around the house, but being willing to chip in will go a long way.
9. Show your partner love.
Your partner’s parents want to see that their son/daughter is in good hands and with someone who truly loves them. So, show your partner respect by complimenting, not interrupting them, and telling their parents how much you appreciate your relationship. This will no doubt endear you to them more.
10. Don’t engage in too much lovey-dovey stuff.
While you want to show your partner’s parents that you’re in a loving relationship, avoid hanging onto your partner all night long or kissing in front of them. Gross. It’s so disrespectful and they don’t need to see that. Holding hands or sitting with your arrm around one another is fine, but have a bit of decency!
11. Avoid teasing your partner.
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Maybe you and your partner always tease each other in good fun, but people outside of the relationship might not see it that way, like when it comes to your nicknames for each other. Your inside jokes and quirky habits should be reserved for when you’re alone or among friends. It’s in bad taste and could make the wrong impression to act otherwise.
12. Answer their questions politely.
When your partner’s mom or dad asks you a question, try to answer truthfully and politely. Avoid giving them one-word answers, which are basically conversational dead-ends. Be open and respectful — it shows that you want to build a healthy relationship with them. Avoid getting defensive or being too closed off. Who knows, they might be your family one day too!
13. Put your phone away.
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Don’t ever let your phone sit next to you on the table so that you can check it for notifications or calls. It’s so rude! When meeting the parents, put your phone away in a pocket or handbag, and stick it on mute so that you don’t get tempted to check it. If you’re expecting an urgent call, mention it to them beforehand so you’re not seen as rude when you have to excuse yourself.
14. Avoid sensitive topics.
There are some topics you should never engage in with your partner’s parents when meeting them. Keep the outing light and friendly, so you don’t cause a stressful atmosphere. Common topics to avoid include speaking about religion and politics, but add in your own if your partner lets you know of other no-gos. Now’s not the time.
15. Take the higher road if they’re mean to you.
Not all parents are going to be friendly and polite. If your partner’s parents do something upsetting to you, the best thing to do is politely ignore it or change the subject so it doesn’t become a stressful event. Choose to speak to your partner about it at the end of the evening in private.
16. Relax and go with the flow.
Meeting your partner’s parents can be stressful! Try to find ways to stay calm and in the present moment. Don’t feel the pressure to dominate conversations or take charge of activities. You’re not in your house, so it’s time to hold back a bit and go with the good flow. Just keep a friendly smile on your face and radiate positive vibes, and you can’t go wrong.
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