How To Know If A Guy Is Being Honest About Wanting A Relationship

Wasting time with someone who strings you along is so tired. Sadly, honesty and loyalty are rare these days. Does he want a relationship or what, and how do you know if he means what he says when he claims to want to be with you? Here are 8 ways a guy shows you he is more than just talk and true commitment is a real prospect.

  1. He acts like it. Sounds so simple and obvious, but the key word is “act.” It’s easy to say anything, but what is he showing you? Red flags and toxic behaviors are advertised, but what shows you he’s the real deal? Respecting your boundaries, making an effort to communicate, wanting to spend quality time together, and getting to know you on a deeper level are all good steps to take when forming a solid future-oriented relationship. Don’t just sit there and soak up his sunny forecast while he continues to rain lies on you.
  2. He does the pursuing. For safety and harassment purposes, I’m all for dating apps that require women to initially be in control. But after making that first contact, it’s time for the dude to take over. It’s emasculating to a man’ s role to have a female take the lead, period. We all have our bad days and it’s not always going to be 50/50, but it should also never always be 80/20 or 100/0. One-sided relationships don’t exist. If you’re the one putting all the effort in, then you’re just chasing someone who doesn’t want you.
  3. He’s consistent. No matter how busy someone is, they always factor important people into their day/routine. It’s rare for someone to be completely off the grid and fully keep to themselves. We all have that go-to person, whether it comes from family or one of our friends. He’s definitely touching base with someone on the regular. So, if he’s only reaching out every few days or takes hours to respond, then you’re not on that list. Not saying that so you take it personally, cause that list honestly may just include him if he’s self-absorbed.
  4. He actually wants to see you (in person). Regardless of what your main love language is, physical contact and quality time are important for any relationship. If he’s not asking you on a date and just wants to talk endlessly, you’re a pen pal or ear for his troubles. People are made to spend time close to one another, not permanently communicate through devices and screens, and if he really wanted you, he would want this. Don’t allow him to friend-zone you while dangling the prospect of commitment in from your face, knowing that’s only what you want.
  5. You don’t have to ask him. Relationships are hard and take continuous work. But the talking stage should be the easiest, most stress-free part. You shouldn’t stay confused about where you two stand and continuously frustrated over not knowing where you’re headed or what he really wants. If you’re not on the same page before stressors of living together, sharing finances, raising children, etc., is factored in then you’re going nowhere fast. You should be experiencing honeymoon bliss, not new lover distress.
  6. He doesn’t hide you in the bushes. This may sound funny, but insincere guys practically ask you to do this! They only want to talk to you when they’re at work or in the car, they want to come over to your place but not see theirs, you haven’t been introduced to his inner circle, etc. Don’t allow him to keep you on the down-low while he’s probably entertaining other women secretly as well and “doing him” publicly. If he saw a future with you, he’d care what people in his life thought and want to integrate you into all aspects of his entire routine.
  7. He keeps his word. Things come up in life, but if he has a habit of not calling you back, saying he’ll do such and such but never does, makes endless excuses, or makes claims about what he “can’t wait for” with you that never happen…he’s playing games and blowing rose-colored smoke. A real man isn’t going to want you to think he isn’t reliable and trustworthy. He would go out of his way to make sure you see him as someone to respect and lean on.
  8. He tries to get to know you. Have you ever hung out with and/or talked to a guy for a few weeks to a month or so and realized he doesn’t even know that much about you? Yeah, that’s extra suspect. I’m not saying he should put you through the Spanish Inquisition, but he should genuinely be curious about who you are, what you’re about, your past, your values, and your future goals. If someone wants to build with you the first place they’ll start is learning about your foundation.
I’m Cara, not to be confused with Carrie, although you could say I’m a Millennial Bradshaw of sorts. Pop culture connoisseur. Lover of all things creative and passionate about health and personal well-being. Follow me on IG @cara_vale_writer