It’s totally normal to get mad sometimes, but that shouldn’t be your default emotion. Anger can be addictive, so if you don’t nip it in the bud, it can lead to chronic rage that wreaks havoc on your life, relationships, and health. With that in mind, here are 15 effective ways to release this negative emotion before it consumes you.
1. Admit that you’re seriously mad.
You have to acknowledge your anger before you can eliminate it. Admit the way you’re feeling and ask yourself why. Check your body’s response to anger, such as an increased heart rate or shaking hands. Also, make sure you don’t dismiss your emotions because that will only prevent you from dealing with them.
2. Look At The Root Cause.
While you might react to an anger trigger, you need to focus on what’s causing it in the first place. While it might infuriate you that your partner didn’t buy milk on the way home from work or because they left their socks on the bathroom floor for the umpteenth time, the deeper issue could be that you don’t feel heard in your relationship.
3. Do A Mindfulness Exercise.
A healthy way to deal with your anger is to try some mindfulness. Stop and take some deep breaths to slow your body down. You can do this whenever you feel anger strike so that it doesn’t overwhelm you. Also, be aware that this takes some time to get good at, so persevere even if you think it’s not working at first.
4. Take A Quick Break.
If conflict with someone is making you feel angry, you should step away from the situation for a while so you can gather your thoughts and calm yourself down. This will prevent you from saying or doing things you don’t mean, which means you won’t have to regret your blow-up after you’ve actually cooled off.
5. Try to Find Some Empathy.
Sometimes, if someone’s upsetting you, it’s easy to see them as the bad guy. Instead, try to stop and see the situation from their perspective. By having some empathy, you can gain a greater perspective on the situation and the person who’s making you so angry. When you understand people better, it’s harder to stay mad with them.
6. Get Moving.
It can help you to be physical when you’re feeling anger. Go for a run around the block or do some push-ups. This is also a great way to eliminate any tension in your body and it helps you to direct your anger into something positive. It sounds annoying but it does actually work. Really — science proves it.
7. Write Down Your Anger.
When you start a journal, whether it’s a written one or you want to try audio journaling, it can help you see your feelings in a new way. You might even read what you’re angry about and laugh or realize you don’t need to carry this heavy emotion. It’s so freeing!
8. Cut Yourself Some Slack.
It’s easy to turn your anger onto yourself and then you end up beating yourself up for failing. Try to be a little nicer to yourself. Talk to yourself with a bit more gentleness, like you’d talk to your best friend. This can help you to calm down while also keeping you from judging yourself for having anger.
9. Use Positive Affirmations.
It’s easy for anger to cause negative thoughts. When you spot them, remind yourself of your accomplishments and strengths — this will shift your mindset and mood (or at least it doesn’t hurt to try). You could also use a calming mantra to help you release anger, such as “I am protected” or “All is well.” Sounds corny, but it’s effective!
10. Laugh It Off.
One of the most powerful ways to deal with anger is to find a reason to laugh instead. Put on a funny comedy bit or think of something you and your bestie always laugh about. This will help you to relieve the tension of the moment so anger doesn’t have to ruin your day.
11. Throw Perfection Away.
Striving for perfection can cause you to be hard on yourself. This, in turn, can make you quick to anger. Realize that no one’s perfect and mistakes help you learn more about yourself so you can find what makes you happy. It’s okay not to get everything right in life — no one does!
12. Make Positive Changes.
If certain things always make you angry, you can help yourself by making some changes in your life. For instance, if your busy route to work always infuriates you, find another way in or leave a bit earlier so you avoid the rush. Similarly, if you and your friend always get into an argument about a certain topic, avoid discussing it so you can focus on being happier.
13. Say “Thank You.”
It can help you to shift your perspective in the heat of the moment by thinking of what you’re grateful for. This will make you appreciate things more instead of focusing on what your life is lacking right now. Sometimes you won’t think there’s anything to be grateful for, and that’s okay. It’s all about trying to be more present.
14. Have A Safe Word.
It helps to set a safe word before future outbursts, whether for yourself or when interacting with other people. It’s basically like a mental stop sign when your anger’s getting too high, reminding you to go do something to relax to release stress. You could even make it a silly word that makes you laugh, which will help you to zap anger during the heat of the moment.
15. Talk It Out With Someone You Trust.
If your anger’s feeling overwhelming, you should reach out to a trusted friend so you can vent in a safe space. You’ll feel so much better after getting your feelings out. Plus, you’ll also get an objective perspective from someone who knows and supports you. It’s the best of both worlds, really.
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