You made a mistake and hurt someone you care about. While you stepped up and genuinely apologized, they still haven’t forgiven you and you don’t know if they ever will. There’s nothing else you can do but move on, but how do you do that? Here are some tips on walking away from a situation that is unlikely to ever be resolved.
1. Realize The Impact Of Your Actions.
Instead of being angry towards your friend, try to put yourself in their shoes. Think about what you’ve done to hurt them and what consequences your actions have wrought. It’s hard to go there, and you don’t want to dwell on it eternally, but it will help you to grow from it.
2. Stop Beating Yourself Up.
While its healthy to take a deep dive into the situation and analyze what happened, stop beating yourself up! You made a mistake, but you stood up and apologized for it. You did what was right. What happens now is out of your hands.
3. Try To Apologize One Last Time.
If you’re really bummed that this person is going to walk away from you, you could try to apologize again. Make it clear that you were sincere in your remorse and that you want to make it up to them. It’s worth it and your friend might come around or realize how much they miss you.
4. Show Your Pain.
To make your apology more powerful, try to show the other person just how bad you feel. Express your hurt and regret to show them that you’re being genuine. If possible, apologize to them in person instead of via text, as it will be more heartfelt. However, just make sure you don’t try to play the victim or turn the situation around to make them feel bad.
5. Step Back And Give Them Time.
While you might want to keep trying to smooth things over, don’t become a nuisance by texting them all the time or asking them if they’re over the situation y et. This can backfire because the person will want to avoid you. Step back so that they can deal with the situation in their own time. They need to heal.
6. Process The Rejection.
Dealing with rejection isn’t easy. It can hurt a lot and make you feel hopeless, but now’s a good opportunity to try to dive into your fear of rejection. Becoming comfortable with these setbacks helps you to grow and realize you can survive no matter what happens to you.
7. Don’t Judge The Other Person.
It can be easy to blame the other person for choosing not to accept your apology, but avoid the temptation to become resentful about them or gossip about how unfair they’re being because it’s not going to help you grow from the situation. It’s also likely to get back to them and you’ll be in an even worse position than you were before.
8. Think About How You Can Change.
Think about how you can change for the better in the future. What did you learn from the mistake you made? What caused you to behave in that way? What will you do differently in the future? By using situations like this to grow as a person, you ensure you don’t end up getting caught in toxic behavior cycles.
9. Learn To Be Patient.
It’s not easy to give the other person enough time to heal because you’re not sure if they’re going to want to keep you in their life. The waiting is so painful, but take this opportunity to learn to be more patient. Try to focus on staying calm and meditate on the situation.
10. Feel Good About Having Tried.
If the person doesn’t want to forgive you and you have clear communication from them that they’re not going to accept your apology, it sucks, but you should be proud of yourself for trying so hard. You’ve shown yourself that you’ll go the extra mile to make things right. That’s something that should make you feel proud.
11. Respect Their Decision.
You’ll have to respect their decision to move on without you. Try to put yourself in their shoes to imagine what you would feel if you were seeing the situation from their perspective. Accept their decision — it might take you some time, but it’ll help you to stop feeling so negative about it.
12. Forgive Yourself.
Now’s the time to be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself! You’ve done what you could and have grown from what happened. You’re human and make mistakes, so treat yourself with self-compassion and allow yourself to heal.
13. Delete The Person’s Number.
If you keep seeing the person show up in your phone’s contacts, it can bring back all the pain. Ditto for seeing them in your social media feeds. Try to delete the person’s information so you can properly move on. You can’t do that if they’re always around! Out of sight, out of mind, as they say.
14. Be Kind To People.
It can help you to help other people in your life. Be kind to them and build strong, healthy relationships. Use what you’ve learned from the experience to strengthen your bonds. Focus on the people in your life who accept you unconditionally and vow to never make the same mistakes with them that you made with the person you lost.
15. Boost Your Self-Improvement.
Your sense of self-worth might be a bit low, so build your self-confidence in whatever way you can. Meet new people, start being healthier, and do courses to boost your skills. You’ll realize your worth and feel better about yourself.
16. Don’t Let It Define You.
It’s easy to allow the mistake you made to define you, but don’t carry that emotional baggage into your future. Continue working to improve yourself and don’t let your mistakes hold you back. Learn from them but let them go!
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