How To Stop Believing The BS In Your Head

How To Stop Believing The BS In Your Head

Our brains can be our best friends or our worst enemies.

Sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves are far from the truth. Negative self-talk, limiting beliefs, and the echo chamber of social media can trap us in a cycle of doubt and negativity. But it doesn’t have to be this way! By learning to challenge those harmful thoughts and cultivate a more positive mindset, you can break free from the BS in your head and start living a more fulfilling life.

1. Call it out.

The first step to shutting down negative self-talk is to recognize it when it’s happening, per NPR. When you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself, call it out. Say to yourself, “There goes that negative voice again.” Naming it takes away some of its power and helps you separate yourself from the thought.

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2. Challenge it.

Just because a thought pops into your head doesn’t mean it’s true. When you catch yourself thinking something negative, ask yourself, “Is this really true? What evidence do I have to support this thought?” Chances are, you’ll find that your negative self-talk is based on assumptions and exaggerations, not facts.

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3. Replace it.

Once you’ve challenged a negative thought, replace it with a more realistic and positive one. For example, instead of thinking “I’m a failure,” try “I’m learning and growing every day.” It might feel awkward at first, but with practice, positive self-talk will become a habit.

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4. Practice a bit of self-compassion.

We’re often harder on ourselves than we would ever be on a friend. When you catch yourself being self-critical, ask yourself, “Would I say this to someone I love?” If the answer is no, try treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend.

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5. Focus on progress instead of fixating on perfection.

As Forbes points out, erfectionism is the enemy of progress. When you’re constantly striving for an unattainable standard, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and negative self-talk. Instead, focus on the progress you’re making, no matter how small. Celebrate your wins and use your setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow.

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6. Surround yourself with positive people.

The people we spend time with have a big impact on our thoughts and beliefs. If you’re constantly around people who are negative and critical, it’s easy to internalize those messages. Seek out friends and mentors who are supportive, encouraging, and positive. Their good vibes will rub off on you.

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7. Be more grateful.

When you’re stuck in a cycle of negative self-talk, it’s easy to focus on everything that’s going wrong. But there’s always something to be grateful for, even on the toughest days. Make a habit of writing down three things you’re thankful for every day. It could be as simple as a good cup of coffee or a kind word from a friend. Focusing on the positive can help shift your mindset.

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8. Get moving.

Exercise isn’t just good for your body, it’s good for your mind too, Mayo Clinic notes. When you get your heart rate up and your endorphins flowing, it’s harder to hold onto negative thoughts. Plus, setting and achieving fitness goals can give you a sense of accomplishment and boost your self-esteem. So lace up those sneakers and get moving!

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9. Try to practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment without judgment. When you’re fully engaged in what you’re doing, there’s less room for negative self-talk to creep in. Try taking a few deep breaths and focusing on your senses – what do you see, hear, feel, taste, and smell? Grounding yourself in the present moment can help quiet the noise in your head.

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10. Celebrate your strengths.

We all have unique strengths and talents, but it’s easy to overlook them when we’re focused on our flaws. Take some time to identify your strengths – what comes easily to you? What do people compliment you on? Write them down and refer back to the list when you’re feeling down on yourself. Reminding yourself of your awesomeness can help counteract negative self-talk.

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11. Learn from your mistakes.

Mistakes are a natural part of life, but negative self-talk can blow them out of proportion. Instead of beating yourself up over a mistake, try to see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. What can you do differently next time? How can you use this experience to become a better version of yourself?

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12. Set realistic goals.

Setting unrealistic goals is a surefire way to set yourself up for negative self-talk. If you’re constantly falling short of your own expectations, it’s easy to start believing that you’re a failure. Instead, set goals that are challenging but achievable. Break big goals down into smaller, manageable steps. And don’t forget to celebrate your progress along the way!

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13. Don’t forget self-care.

Girl sitting on the street with sunset backgroundGirl sitting on the street with sunset background

When we’re stressed, tired, or burnt out, negative self-talk can be even harder to shut down. That’s why it’s so important to prioritize self-care. Make time for activities that recharge your batteries, whether it’s taking a bubble bath, reading a good book, or going for a walk in nature. When you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to handle life’s challenges.

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14. Leave yourself little reminders.

Couple - Relationship, Girlfriend, Young Couple, Street, Boyfriend

Sometimes, we need a little extra help to remember how awesome we are. Try surrounding yourself with reminders of your strengths and accomplishments. Put a post-it note with a positive affirmation on your mirror. Set a photo of a proud moment as your phone background. Wear a piece of jewelry that reminds you of your inner badass. Having visual cues can help counteract negative self-talk in the moment.

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15. Consider positive affirmations.

woman telling her friend some gossip

Positive affirmations are short, powerful statements that can help rewire your brain for positivity. Try coming up with a few affirmations that resonate with you, like “I am worthy of love and respect” or “I trust myself to make good decisions.” Repeat them to yourself daily, even if you don’t fully believe them at first. Over time, they can help replace negative self-talk with a more empowering inner dialogue.

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16. Let go of comparison.

Photo of good mood charming confident young man wear green windbreaker schoolbag walking city street.

Comparison is the thief of joy, and it’s also a major source of negative self-talk. When we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short. But the truth is, everyone has their own unique journey. Focus on your own progress and growth, and celebrate other people’s successes without making them mean something about your own worth.

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17. Get professional help if you need it.

couple arguing in front of office building

Sometimes, negative self-talk can be a symptom of a deeper issue, like depression or anxiety. If you’re struggling to shut down the negative voice in your head, it might be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of your negative self-talk and develop strategies to overcome it. There’s no shame in asking for help – in fact, it’s a sign of strength.

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18. Be patient with yourself.

angry unhappy friends having public argument

Changing your inner dialogue doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and practice to rewire your brain for positivity. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Remember, you’re a work in progress, and that’s a beautiful thing. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and eventually, that negative voice will start to fade into the background.

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Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.
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