How To Stop Looking For Love: 9 Steps To Take

How To Stop Looking For Love: 9 Steps To Take

You see all those happy couples on Instagram and wish you’d find your special person. But if getting into a relationship is the only thing you’re thinking about right now, you need to stop looking for love. No, seriously. It might sound like that’s the worst thing you could do, but it’s healthy to take a break from dating. There are many benefits you can reap from slowing down your love search, like focusing on yourself and achieving your other, more important goals. With this in mind, here are nine steps to help you stop looking for love and start living your life.

1. Slow Down And Look Around.

When you’re so focused on burning up dating apps and finding people to go on dates with, your one-track mind can cause you to lose sight of what you already have in your life. Practice daily gratitude by appreciating good mates (when last did you hit them up with a cool invite to din?), your family, and your career. See the great things that are happening in your life and be grateful to be living it. Just think: everything you have right now you used to pray for. Celebrate it. Life’s about more than finding The One.

2. Transfer Your Energy Into Something Else.

Just because you want to find someone special to date, it doesn’t mean your goal should zap all your energy. What do you really want in life? What are your goals and dreams? When you’re single, you’ve got so much more spare time and energy to dedicate to those ambitions. Don’t waste it.

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4. Widen Your Social Circle.

What can help you to stop looking for love is to concentrate on your social circle. Be open to meeting new people from all walks of life and forging new friendships. Not everyone you connect with has to be a love interest, you know. In fact, it’s often the case that the people you befriend and fall in love with platonically become so much more important than your dating experiences.

5. Pack Your Bags.

If you’re too focused on the dating game in your city or town, maybe you need to leave for a while and have a change of scenery. Traveling is a fantastic way to score new experiences and have fun. It also takes you away from your life for a bit so you can gain a fresh perspective. Traveling around the world will show you how amazing it is to be single. Don’t take it for granted.

6. Suss Yourself Out.

Maybe you think you desperately need a boyfriend or girlfriend, but do you really? Take some time to think about it. What you consider your must-have could be something that’s something you’d like but don’t actually need. Now that you’ve opened some mental space for what you want out of life, your one shot around the sun, you can concentrate on it instead and be happier.

7. Quit Comparing Yourself To Others.

It’s easy to think you need to have a romantic relationship because everyone around you is getting into relationships. Wait – that doesn’t mean you need to search for love. Things happen when they’re supposed to and maybe right now is your time to shine in other ways. Instead of chronically comparing yourself to others, be grateful for what you have. Maybe you don’t have a fantastic relationship, but you have a really cool career or amazing friends. Hey, maybe your coupled-up friends are envious of you.

8. Spend Time With Your Family.

Okay, this might sound corny, but enjoy time with your family (even if they drive you nuts). Your family isn’t always going to be around. Parents and aunts and uncles get old and someday, you’re going to look back on the days when you were single (which is now) and you’ll wish you’d spent more time with your family members when you had the chance. When you get into a serious relationship, like marriage, you’re not going to have as much time for your loved ones.

9. Quit Dating Apps.

There are tons of dating apps that are draining your phone battery and zapping your energy. They can result in dating fatigue, which you don’t need because dating’s supposed to be fun. So, here’s a thought: delete the dating apps for a while and see what it’s like to meet people in the real world. Take the pressure off dating and it’ll slip off your list of priorities, as it should. You’ve got better things to do than swipe right.

10. Stop Doing Courtesy Outings.

When you’re caught up in the storm of dating, you might force yourself to hit the social hotspots on a Saturday night “just in case” some amazing person’s there. Yawn. Now that you’re taking some time off dating, it’s good to focus on what you really feel like doing instead of forcing yourself into situations. You’ll be doing things that genuinely make you happy so you’re not just ticking off tasks to get through them. Concentrate on nothing but your pleasure. Liberating, isn’t it?

Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.