How To Support A Friend Going Through A Breakup

When a close friend gets her heart broken, it can be pretty devastating for you too. You hate seeing her in so much pain, especially since you know there’s nothing you can do to fix it. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t be there for her and help her through this tough time until she’s back to her old self again. Here are some tips on how to support a friend going through a breakup.

  1. Let her cry. You probably know what it’s like when you’re absolutely beside yourself with grief after a relationship you valued is finished. It really sucks, and sometimes all you can do is cry. Your job as a friend is to support her through this breakup by being there to listen to her cry. Give her a hug, hold her hand, or even simply be there for her as she cries her eyes out.
  2. Listen instead of offering cheap platitudes. It’s tempting to try and boost your friend’s spirits by offering words of encouragement like “you’re so much better off without him” or “you deserve so much more,” and while that might be true, it’s really not helpful. If the breakup is fresh, your friend likely won’t see this as support so much as a bunch of sweet nothings. She’s not in a place to hear this right now and it’ll probably just annoy her rather than comfort her.
  3. Don’t try to set her up. Maybe you know a really great single guy that you think would be great for her. Awesome – hopefully he’s still available when your friend is further down the road and ready to date again. However, the worst thing you could do is try to push her back out into the dating scene before she’s ready again, as it won’t end well. She won’t have had time to process her grief and she could miss out on what could be a great connection had she waited just a little bit longer.
  4. Plan fun things to distract her. This is one of the best ways to support your friend through her breakup. She might be reluctant to take you up on the offer of fun activities in the beginning, but keep trying and she’ll eventually go for it. Go away for a weekend to a fancy hotel, hit up the carnival when it comes to down, spend the day at the beach, go hiking… anything you can think of that you know she’d enjoy and that gets her mind off the breakup is a good thing.
  5. Avoid talking about your own relationship for a little while. Obviously your life shouldn’t fall by the wayside just because your friend is going through a tough time. However, if you’re in a happy relationship, while that’s great, you probably should limit how much you talk about that for a little while. Your friend won’t want to hear about how you have the best boyfriend ever or how you love being a girlfriend. She’ll be happy for you, of course, but read the room.
  6. Remind her of her worth. At the end of the day, it’s important that your friend remembers just how valuable and loveable she really is. It’s easy to lose sight of that when you’re going through a tough time, but she’ll be so grateful that you’re there to remind her when she forgets.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia