How To View Being Single As A Blessing Rather Than A Curse

Despite the considerable perks that come with being single, sometimes it can seem like more of a blessing than a curse. However, a lot of this comes down to perspective. Instead of seeing rolling solo as a perpetual pit of loneliness, you can begin to enjoy the freedom it affords you by doing the following things.

  1. Get out and see the world. I know it sounds kind of cliche and obvious, and it seems like so many people post Instagram pictures of themselves on vacation newly single. However, no one ever regrets exploring the world around them. Not everybody has the time and financial means to jet off to a tropical paridse, but even just exploring a new city nearby works too. There’s a reason why traveling is something many people do when they’re single, and it’s not just to get a bunch of likes on pictures of them in bikinis. There’s something about traveling that truly reminds you how small you are and how large the world around you is. You meet new people, you try new things, and sometimes you deal with minor (and maybe even major) issues along the way, but you always come home with a unique experience and often a different perspective.
  2. Spend some quality time with the only person you know will be in your life forever: yourself. Many people get freaked out thinking about spending too much time alone, but doing this forces you to grow and truly evaluate your life. Quality time with yourself is not only refreshing but enlightening if you use it in the right way. Use this time to heal from any past relationships where you were left burned, and if you’ve been single for a while and are over all of your exes, use this time to really get to know who you are. Once you’re comfortable and happy being by yourself, you won’t settle for dating anyone who doesn’t meet your standards just because you’re lonely.
  3. Go on dates and just have fun with it. Don’t stress jumping into a new relationship or settling down with someone serious, but if you do have the opportunity to go on a date, do it without thinking too much about it or taking it too seriously. This will make you realize that being single doesn’t automatically equal lonely—it equals having the freedom to be around and do whatever it is that you want.
  4. Work on finding your emotional equilibrium. Sometimes a relationship is also a crutch and when you’re single again when it’s over, you feel lonely and lost because you don’t have that stability to lean on anymore. Work on being able to take care of yourself and being emotionally stable, and if you already feel like you are, appreciate it and realize that being single means not having to deal with anyone else’s crap. No drama, no fights, no having to explain yourself to anyone. That sounds like freedom to me.
  5. Find joy in being “selfish.” One of the most liberating parts of being single is that you really only have to worry about yourself and you can do whatever you want to do without anyone else’s opinion. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spend quality time with your family, help out your friends when you can, and prioritize other people in your life that you love. Being single means you have the freedom to choose who to spend your time with, what to do with it and when. It feels amazing.
  6. Do whatever it is that you want with your weekends without anyone to hold you back or make you feel guilty. In a perfect world and a perfect relationship (neither of which exist), you would still spend your days doing whatever it is that you want to do without having to accommodate a partner. However, we all know that’s not always the way it works out. Sometimes we consciously choose to spend our time differently when we’re in a relationship than we would have when we were single just because we know it will make our partner happier. However, when you’re single, you don’t even have to think about it! So whatever it is that you picture in your mind when you think about Friday night, do it. Whether it’s going out clubbing, staying in and watching Netflix, or a girls night at a new restaurant, make the plans and follow through with no hesitation. This is a surefire way to make being single a freeing experience.
  7. Realize that part of being single means less conventional expectations. When you’re single, you have less pressure to make traditional choices and follow a specific path. Use this to your knowledge and take advantage of your freedom. Try out an unconventional career choice, move across the country, go back to school, volunteer… the possibilities are endless, and you’re free to decide what it is you want to do without worrying about anyone else or any other expectations than your own.
  8. Remind yourself that you’re in control of your life and that’s a beautiful thing. Take control of your life and make active decisions about career choices, life choices, friendship choices, and everything else. So often we’re passive and let life happen around us, and we end up doing things by default. One of the things that makes being single so freeing is the ability to make any choice you want, so make sure that you’re taking full advantage of this. You’ll feel freer than you ever could have imagined.
Kerry is a freelance writer from Boston, Massachusetts who now lives in the Sunshine State with the love of her life and her 15 month old daughter. She writes frequently about her personal experiences (find more of her work on She has an Etsy shop with cute items: she's not writing, she loves to spend time outside, at the beach, and with her family.